The 12 things we REALLY want to happen on this season of Game of Thrones. No spoilers.

Yes, yes, we KNOW they’re based on books, and plots are sacred and whatever, but come on, throw us a bone, writers.

Much like winter, the Game of Thrones season five premiere is coming. In fact, if you’re home today, in your house, it might have already been.

But we have to wait til tonight, people. And so we’d like to waste the afternoon dreaming of plot possibilities.

There have been plenty of rumours going around that the show will deviate significantly from the book’s plot. So using the law of attraction (YEAH WE READ THE SECRET, SO WHAT) we are putting out into the universe the things we desperately wish to see happen this season.

RELATED: Game of Thrones fans assemble. The 15-minute trailer is here.

1. Joffrey comes back as a zombie, only to be slain by Arya.

Just imagine how satisfying it would be to see that little shit Joffrey killed again and even better – at the hands of Arya Stark. Sweet, sweet justice.

2. Arya is then reunited with her direwolf and continues kicking arse.

If you didn’t cry when Arya sent Nymeria away you have a cold dead heart and nothing will save you. We want to see Arya reunite with her direwolf and rip the throats out of everyone on her kill list.

3. More male nudity #equality.

We’ve seen plenty of women getting their kit off over the last four seasons so it’s only fair some of the male characters do the same. On that note can we request Jon Snow first, please.

4. A Daenerys vs. Cersei showdown.

Are Cersei’s withering glares enough to take down three dragons? Definitely not. She will hopefully die.

5. And if Daenerys wins we would like her to draft Australia’s refugee policy.

 Enough said.

6. Varys launches a gossip website. Xoxo. 

Like Perez Hilton for Westeros, Varys can launch his very own gossip website. He clearly has no hair because he can keep no secrets.  

7. Margaery Tyrell rocks her Hunger Games hairstyle. 

We want her hair to reflect the bad-ass she really is inside.

8. Sansa throws Littlefinger out of the moon door.

That guy needs to die. Seriously. Sansa can then open up a little bakery and sell lemon cakes.

9. Hodor expands his vocabulary.

Preferably includes swear words.

10. Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth get together. 

These two could be the power couple of the century.

11. One of the dragons falls in love with a direwolf and they procreate.

It would be like in Shrek, but one million times more deadly (and awesome).

12. Global warming in Westeros.

Now winter is never coming again. Sucks to be you, Whitewalkers!

What do you want to see happen in this season of Game of Thrones? NO SPOILERS, WE REPEAT, NO SPOILERS!