I've heard the most insane stories about my friend's husbands.
I know which one has a foot fetish.
I know which one is battling a secret gambling addiction.
I know which one says "my WORD" when he climaxes (and I really, really wish I didn't).
Being the sole single girl in a group of newlyweds means a lot of my coupled-up friends feel more comfortable dishing about their relationship issues to me. Maybe it's because they fear judgement from the friends they assume are more happily married than them, or maybe I just have a reputation as a locked vault, but I seem to collect marital secrets at an alarming rate.
But recently, I was let in on one home truth that has left me unable to be in the same room as my friend's very sweet husband of only eight months.
In spite of the fact that they're still paying off an epic Bali wedding, my girlfriend recently confided to me that she's having an affair with her ex-boss.
Watch: The signs your partner might be cheating on you. Post continues after video.
Worse? It's been going on since before she even met her current husband, and I had no idea at all.
I don't want to sound judgemental, because I know the human heart is a complex thing, but when I tell you my mouth hung open in shock when she spilled the beans.
According to my friend, it all started when she was working as this guy's assistant in another state.
He was (and is) married with kids, so when she got an opportunity on the other side of the country, she decided it was best to cut and run.
She moved to my town, met her husband, and we joined the same mixed netball team (her husband too). We all became fast friends, but I really clicked with her.
She was — is — incredibly bubbly, caring and thoughtful. So when she confided in me that her boss had moved locally with his family, for a job in her industry (although thankfully not her company) and that they'd started up where they left off, I wanted to try and give her the benefit of the doubt.
I was sure I was about to hear some awful crime on her new husband's part. Maybe he was cruel behind closed doors? Maybe they never had sex? I tried to listen with an open mind.
What I heard was more depressing than I could have imagined.
Her husband is perfectly fine. He is kind, gives her a lot of attention, and has his sh*t together. She says she still loves him, and has no intention of leaving, but at the same time, is giddy about what is happening to her affair.
I find myself in the incredibly awkward position of wanting to be there for my friend, and at the same time, wanting to free her husband from the tsunami of pain that is surely about to rain down on him. How long can she keep it from him? Don't affairs usually get found out eventually? And what about this other guy's wife? Doesn't she deserve to know?
Of course, they're all hypothetical questions, because I've seen enough films to realise that the messenger always gets shot. I wouldn't presume to get involved, and I wish every day that I didn't know.
Because every time I see my friend and her poor husband at netball, she has a secret little twinkle in her eye and I can barely even look him in his.
The author of this story is known to Mamamia but remained anonymous for privacy purposes.
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