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Ruqia Haidari was forced into marriage. Six weeks later, she was dead.

Content warning: This story discusses violence against women.

Ruqia Haidari was just 15 years old when she was first forced to marry a man she didn't love. 

The marriage was arranged by Ruqia's mother, Sakina Muhammad Jan, but ended in divorce five years later. 

After fleeing the Taliban, Ruqia's family became part of the Shepparton Afghan Hazara community in Victoria, where traditional beliefs are strongly upheld. 

One such belief was that divorce brought shame on a family. Ruqia was now deemed a "bewa" by her community, meaning she was no longer of value, particularly to future potential husbands. 

Watch: 6 Signs Of People Who Have Been Abused. Article continues after the video.


Video via YouTube: Psych2Go.

Despite her daughter's poor "prospects for marriage", Ruqia's mother began a desperate search for a new husband for her.

It was Sakina's obsession with restoring her daughter's reputation, that led to the introduction of 25-year-old Perth man, Mohammad Ali Halimi, to her 20-year-old daughter.

A mutual friend and "matchmaker" arranged for Halimi to fly to Shepperton to meet Ruqia, spending just half an hour alone with her before their engagement was confirmed by her family. 

The next time Ruqia laid eyes on her future husband was at their "nikah", an Islamic religious ceremony to confirm their marriage. 

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According to Ruqia's friends, she didn't want to go through with the arrangement, and had always wanted to "marry for love". 

Some members of the community tried to convince Sakina not to follow through with the arrangement, that her daughter was unhappy, but it made no difference. 

Afghan community leader Zahra Haydar-Big begged Sakina to let Ruqia at least finish university before marrying, but she told her Halimi's family wanted the wedding to happen as soon as possible. And that's what mattered. 

Zahra asked Sakina if they felt comfortable with Halimi, if they knew him well enough. But Sakina simply said the matchmaker would be to blame if things went wrong. 

Unable to speak freely to her family, Ruqia often shared her unhappiness with her driving instructor. She described feeling helpless and as though her "choices and future were being taken away from her". She had tried to convince her mother, she said, but nothing was working. 

Ruqia and Halimi were married in a religious ceremony in November, 2019, but it was not officially registered. Halimi paid Sakina a bride dowry of $14,000, and the couple moved into Halimi’s home in the northern Perth suburb of Balcatta.

When Ruqia returned to Shepparton for her friend Maryiam Khan's wedding, she told her she didn't want to return to her husband. But according to Maryiam, when Ruqia told her mother that she wanted to remain in Shepparton, Sakina said: "Don't come back to us, we will only take back your dead body". 

Ruqia returned but wasn't happy, and she rejected her husband's attempts at intimacy. Halimi sent a video to his wife's family, complaining that she didn't cook or clean, and frequently slept late. The following day, January 18, 2020, Halimi killed Ruqia with a kitchen knife before handing himself to police. 

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He was sentenced to a minimum of 19 years in prison.

During his police interview, Halimi said he'd found evidence of Ruqia visiting police to determine whether she could be forced into marriage. 

Later that year, the Australian Federal Police arrested and charged Sakina with orchestrating a forced marriage. This year, she became the first person in Australia to be found guilty of the crime in the ten years since it became one. 

This week, she was sentenced to three years in prison, with 12 months to be served before she is released under multiple conditions. She could also face deportation back to Afghanistan. 

The offence, considered a form of modern slavery, has a maximum penalty of seven years in prison. 

During the hearing, the court heard there was no evidence Sakina knew Halimi would murder her daughter, but that such an outcome was the "ultimate risk" of forced marriage. 

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) — the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.

Mamamia is a charity partner of RizeUp Australia, a Queensland-based organisation that helps women and families move on after the devastation of domestic violence. If you would like to support their mission to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most, you can donate here.

Feature image: ABC News.

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