1. Member of One Direction proposes to girlfriend. Teenage girls everywhere enter mourning.
If you thought that the number of crying schoolgirls you encountered on your way to work this morning was above average, you’re probably right.
Because, overnight, it was announced that Zayn Malik of One Direction fame has proposed to his girlfriend of two years, Perrie Edwards. And. She. Said. Yes.
Gasp!
To be honest, it’s not like the Directioners (One Direction’s dedicated teenage fanbase) didn’t have a bit of pre-warning. The rumour mill started spinning yesterday, when Edwards attended the premiere of One Direction’s new film, This is Us, with a very suspicious ring on a very suspicious finger.
The engagement was confirmed with a joint statement from the pairs’ reps:
Zayn and Perrie are engaged, but any further detail regarding their relationship is private.
The Directioners are particularly upset because Zayn is objectively the best looking of the British boy band, a fact scientifically proven when he dressed up as a girl in their latest music video, and was turned on by himself:
But the best part of this whole saga is the reaction from super obsessed and very devastated Directioners on Twitter.
Here are some of our favourites:
2. Prince William has given a revealing interview about new fatherhood and his desire to raise his son in the bush. Details here.
3. Dr Phil asks if it’s okay to have sex with rape a drunk girl. But don’t get grumpy about it because he was JUST ASKING, you guys!