We all get excited for those famous firsts in our children’s lives: their first word, first step, first day of school. But there are some firsts that you wish never happened.
1. First blowout diaper. In public. When you have two wipes left in the diaper bag.
2. First time your child lies down screaming on the floor in a big store and refuses to get up. Probably because she wanted to pick the shopping cart and you chose the wrong one.
3. First poop in the bathtub. Bonus points if this occurs while you’re bathing other siblings at the same time.
4. First attempt at explaining to a preschooler what a tampon is. He found one in your purse, and he just won’t stop asking “why.”
Where did you find that? Image via @kidsaretheworst Instagram.
5. First night cleaning vomit out of bed sheets (and carpet, and clothing, and hair...).
6. First time your kids miss the school bus. Your only chance at a shower disappeared along with the bus vanishing over the horizon. Now you have time to either brush your teeth or change out of your pajama pants before driving your kids to school -- but not both.
7. First maths homework that you honestly can't help with because you don't understand a word of it. It'll happen sooner than you think it will.
8. First phone call from another parent about something awful your child did. This call will come precisely at a time when you're already feeling like a walking parenting fail, and it will really make your day. Trust me.
9. First time finding a dried booger on the wall. Of course your child won't admit to picking her nose or to wiping it on the wall. At least she didn't eat it.
Kids love picking their noses. *gag* Image via @kidsaretheworst Instagram.
10. First time you realise that your parents were right. About everything. And as predicted by your mother, you see that you've ended up with a child exactly like you were.
What can you add to the list? Anything we've missed?
CLICK THROUGH the gallery to see kids being the worst...What have your children done to qualify for Kids Are the Worst?
Let it snow.Stop. Check for poo. Then Slide.No this doesn't constitute choosing an outfit.You will never be Picaso honey.There will be no relaxation this evening.He's got a mascara wand and he's not afraid to use it.You will not be leaving the table until all of the orange juice is drunken.Pool parties are not always fun.When your wedding ring is missing, you know who to call.New sheets? No, my new art canvasMy Kids are doubling my moneyJust fertilising the grass.Milking the situation.I'm helping you organise.It doesn't rain, it hails.When kids try and help you do the shopping.
