If you thought the hardest part of parenting was... well, all the famously hard parts of parenting, you’d be wrong: the hardest part of parenting is planning a first birthday party.
For the (blessedly) uninitiated, you might be wondering what exactly could be so difficult about it. Surely, planning a first birthday party just involves throwing together a cake and a few balloons. You aren't far off, except in 2023, that the cake is probably custom made by a professional in the shape of a jungle scene complete with realistic fondant tigers, and the balloons are part of a balloon arch that cost $400.
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Somehow, in the time between the current generation of parents celebrating their own first birthdays (or not celebrating them, as the case may have been) and celebrating their children's first birthdays, the first birthday party has gone from low-key event to full-blown extravaganza. Each new invitation brings a new round of questions: Will there be a petting zoo? (Probably). Will there be a professional photographer? (Almost certainly). Will the cake cost more than my wedding cake? (Unquestionably).
If you Google 'how to plan a first birthday party', the results range from the reasonable (suggestions on how many people to invite) to the ridiculous (recommendations to hire photo booths, engage professional party planners and print personalised menus). Pinterest is full to the brim with first birthday party "inspiration", from folding your own origami napkins into the shape of little suns (Theme: First Lap Around The Sun) to personalised party bags containing handmade cookies bearing your child's name. If you aren't a professional artist, baker and/or millionaire, you might be thinking that this all seems like a bit of a headache, not to mention costing more than your monthly mortgage, and you'd be quite right.