As a wedding celebrant, Ashlee has heard countless love stories.
Her own? Well… She was working on it.
Eight years single. Eight years of soul-crushing dating apps. When something from a matchmaking agency popped up on her social media, it piqued her interest.
"The apps were crushing my soul," she told Mamamia. (Sounds relatable, right?)
"I thought with an agency, these guys are going to be vetted, and hopefully they're half serious."
It was free for Ashlee to sign up as a "complimentary asset" — someone the agency matches with paying clients but doesn't actively hunt for.
Watch: Dating horoscopes. Post continues below.
The investment factor appealed to her; surely men paying for the service would be serious about finding something real?
She met three different guys through the first agency, going on two dates with each to give them a fair chance. Sometimes the first date isn't long enough to properly assess someone.
But from the moment of meeting them, she knew none were "it".
A few months later, a message popped up in her DMs. It was from another agency looking to recruit her to be on their books.
Ashlee isn't sure how they found her — she assumes it was through the first agency's social media.
"It was something like, 'We're wondering if you're single' and a general introduction of who they are, what they do."
"Bold of them to assume I'm single," she laughed.
Matchmaking services often recruit women to use their services for free as they often have more male paying clients, Ashlee explained.
For the agency's paying clients, they're proactively looking for the perfect match. But for complimentary clients, such as herself, you may get a suitable match, but there's no guarantee.
But still, she thought, "Why not give it a go?"
This time felt different.
The first step? An intake form, like a questionnaire to figure out who you are and what you're looking for in a partner.
"It was very comprehensive," Ashlee said.
It dove deep into her preferences, dating history, and what she was really looking for.
"It's an interesting exercise in yourself," she reflected.
"Being single for so long, you create this list of non-negotiables. It's not about looks, but who they are."
Ashlee met her boyfriend of almost two years through a matchmaker. Image: Supplied.
Next up was a phone or video call with the agency to meet face-to-face and chat through the form.
"I had a good feeling, they felt very transparent," she said.
Her non-negotiables weren't crazy or shallow: someone respectful, in it for the right reasons, ready to do the work. Someone kind, with a sense of humour, considerate, and a big kid at heart.
After being single for so long, she'd learned what mattered: someone serious who'd done the work on themselves and was ready to do the work together.
"On the apps, it's such a clusterf***," she said.
"In this day and age, when we're more connected than ever, we're more disconnected than ever.
"It's so easy to just ghost someone even after a date or two. I hate that we've become like that."
After several dud dates with the last agency, Ashlee was sceptical about whether this time would end the same way. But in the end her mindset won over: "You've got to be in it to win it."
So when her first match came through, Ashlee said yes. It ended up being her only match through the service and resulted in a 20-month-long relationship.
"I was his first match as well," she said. "I told him I'd been with another agency and the guys were not it. It's not the norm that I'm his first match."
They were each other's first date through the matchmaking service. Image: Supplied.
They met up for drinks and got more than she ever expected.
Four hours of conversation. No awkward silences. No forced chemistry. Just... ease.
"We had a lot in common," Ashlee recalled.
"It was easy. We got quite deep and meaningful.
"He's an awesome guy."
This wasn't the fireworks she'd fantasised about in her youth, it was something better. A slow burn built on genuine connection.
"Being in the dating scene, you realise sometimes a spark burns out quickly," Ashlee said.
"I'll take connection and compatibility over chemistry."
Now, when Ashlee hears couples' love stories at weddings, she has her own to smile about too.
Feature image: Instagram/ashleebunney_householdname
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