This post deals with financial abuse and might be triggering for some readers.
Mary* had big plans.
She wanted to be a lawyer, or a doctor, or perhaps a lollipop lady at a local primary school.
Some days, she tells Mamamia, she wanted to be someone big and intimidating and be someone to fear. On other days, Mary was sure she'd be happy living in a small cottage on some coastal line, far away from civilisation.
Mary was sure she could be whatever she wanted.
Then she met him.
He was charming, she tells Mamamia. A real go-getter on the outside. Unintimidating. Completely unassuming. They were a perfect match.
"It was really a perfect meeting story," Mary explains. "He hit on me at a bar. In this era, it feels like everyone is meeting on the apps but the first words we ever spoke to each other were in person. He unsettled me, ruffled my feathers — whatever you want to call it."
She was 19 years old, and he was 27. She was in her first year of studying and he was a manager at a department store. She was in love and believed he was, too.
He doted on Mary, hand and foot, in the first six months of their relationship. He spent hours complimenting her appearance and spending hundreds of dollars at the drop of a hat on her. If she was in a bind, he got her out of it. If she needed anything, he gave it to her.