The Today Show host reviews the worst movie of all time.
My husband had a big smile on his face last night when he discovered I was heading off to see Fifty Shades of Grey.
This was the book series after all that left women all over the world wanting more… if you know what I mean.
Sure, I was the only woman I know who hadn’t read the books. But hey, 100 million copies sold must mean a good movie, right? Wrong. Fifty Shades of Grey is, quite simple, the worst movie I’ve ever seen.
With a script that makes Mills & Boon read like bleedin’ Dickens, and lines like, “I don’t do romance”, Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey is the 30-something jerk of a billionaire who never seems to work. An emotionally crippled narcissist no one could love.
Read more: The Fifty Shades of Grey movie won’t show THAT scene.
Meanwhile, Dakota Johnson is the one-dimensional, lip-biting (could someone please get that girl a chapstick!) totally pathetic Anastasia Steele, who for no discernible reason falls in love with the aforementioned jerk and, single-handedly, sells women across the world short.
Yes, Fifty Shades of Grey is more appalling than appealing. It’s domestic violence dressed up as erotica… and if there’s one thing this movie is not, it’s erotic.
Read more: Ten times ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ glorified an abusive relationship.
One star out of five… and that’s only because of the excellent choc top I consoled myself with later.
Oh, and as to Pete: No, he didn’t get lucky. Because after two hours of complete drivel I need more than a choc top to pop my corn.
Must read: Mia Freedman has a reminder to anyone who is outraged over Fifty Shades of Grey
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