'I thought I was going crazy.' The story of Fifi Trixibelle Geldof, the 'unknown' Geldof sister.

 At 36 years old, Fifi Trixibelle Geldof has already lived an extraordinary life. But despite her last name, you probably have no idea about it.

The eldest daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates, Fifi is part of one of the entertainment world’s most intriguing families.

Fifi lost her mother Paula Yates to a heroin overdose when she was 17, and her younger sister Peaches the same way 14 years later.

Since she was 11 she has lived with clinical depression, and there were also battles with drugs and alcohol during her late teens.

But despite this turmoil Fifi has remained composed and crucially, out of the tabloids that plagued the rest of her family. She has held positions at a London PR company for more than 12 years, enjoys spending her time with her husband and pet dog and dabbles in makeup artistry.

Fifi refers to herself as the “unknown Geldof”, and that’s just the way she likes it.

Unlike her younger sisters Peaches and Pixie, Fifi has long avoided the attention that has surrounded the rest of her family.

She was just 17 when her mother died and became fiercely protective of half-sister Tiger Lily Hutchence, 13 years her junior.

Fifi insisted that she and her youngest sister share a room for years and helped instil an aversion for fame in her.

In 2014, just months after the death of her 25-year-old sister Peaches, Fifi gave her first ever interview to share her story with depression with the Daily Mail, aiming to help break the stigma surrounding mental illness.

She recalled how she was diagnosed with clinical depression by a therapist at age 11, during her parents' bitter breakup and subsequent divorce.

"I woke up crying about everything and nothing. I remember thinking what the f**k is going on in my head. Why do I feel like this," she said. "I felt very confused as to what was going on in my mind. I thought I was going crazy. I was a generally happy child and all of a sudden I wasn’t and I didn’t know why.

"It’s confusing and it makes you feel quite lost within yourself. It wasn’t a slow and gentle descent into depression. Something totally switches in your mind. I’m still trying to work out what’s wrong with me now."

After her mother died in 2000, Fifi turned to alcohol and drugs to numb her feelings.

Two years later Fifi hit the headlines for the first - and only - time, after she was found slumped on a London street after a night out.

"I went out on a massive bender," Fifi recalled. "I went to the Hard Rock Café and probably drank about 20 Long Island iced teas."

"I was with a friend. It was the day before a Mardi Gras march and the police were checking routes. That’s when they found us. Two girls passed out in a pool of their own vomit. There was no arrest. I was put into the cells overnight to sober up."

This provided Fifi with the reality check she needed and she's been living out of the spotlight ever since.

In her 2014 interview she said her decision to speak publicly was not informed by the death of Peaches.

"I’m not going to link depression back to Peaches. It’s nothing to do with Peaches. I can’t, in all honesty, attribute my sadness about my sister’s death to depression," she said.

But Peaches was the one Fifi confided in the most about her depression. She said she had never spoken to her father about it.

"[Peaches] knew more than anyone else in the family," Fifi said. "Peaches and I were quite similar, mostly in our feelings about stuff that went on that we bonded over."

On March 13, 2019, Fifi shared a tribute to her sister on Instagram to mark her birthday.

"Thinking of her and missing her more than ever on what would’ve been her 30th birthday," Fifi shared.

The eldest Geldof child married her long-time partner Andrew Robertson in 2015 at the same church that hosted her mother and sister's funerals.

She chose not to have Pixie and Tiger Lily as bridesmaids, as it wouldn't have felt right to have her sisters by her side without Peaches too.

Fifi keeps a low-key social media presence with a private Instagram account, where she describes herself as a "makeup artist and enthusiast of dogs".

Feature Image: Getty.