'I just want the orgasm, intimacy can get stuffed.' 13 women just got honest about masturbation.

New research says masturbation helps menopause symptoms. But are we actually doing it?

When it comes to finding ways to combat menopause symptoms, it can feel like a minefield.

A series of expensive trials and errors. Turns out there's another way to ease the impact of menopause, and it's both cheap and available when you want it.

Watch the hosts of Mamamia's Well podcast on how menopause is a powerful transitional stage of life. Post continues below.

According to new research published in The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, and unpacked by The Conversation, masturbation can provide real relief for women going through peri and post-menopause. Not just for libido, but for vaginal dryness, mood, sleep, stress, and even pelvic pain.

Researchers followed women aged 45 - 55 across 12 weeks, asking them to follow a structured 'pleasure plan' using self-stimulation and a pelvic wand. Participants reported: improved lubrication better arousal less pain reduced stress and a noticeable lift in overall wellbeing.

That's because orgasms trigger a cascade of feel-good hormones, boost blood flow to the pelvic area, and help keep vaginal tissues supple, something that becomes increasingly important as oestrogen drops. Essentially, your vibrator might be doing more for your health than your multivitamin. But it begs the question, if masturbation helps menopause symptoms, how often are women actually doing it?

Mamamia asked women over 40 to tell us, anonymously and honestly, about their masturbation habits. Here's what they said.

13 women on masturbation.

"I just want the orgasm. Intimacy can get stuffed." – Erin, 46

"I'm in perimenopause and I self-pleasured just last night with two toys. Usually twice a week. Honestly, it's easier this way. I've lost the sexual drive for foreplay with my husband, I just want to wham bam and get it done.

"He understands what I'm going through. We still kiss and cuddle, but the passionate stuff is gone. When we have sex now, I do it for him. The orgasm is what I'm chasing, not the intimacy."

"I do it most days — it's my meditation." – Claudia, 43

"I've always had a high pleasure drive. I masturbate most nights before sleep because it relaxes me. I don't use toys or porn, I'm very efficient with my hands and imagination.

"I'm single but casually seeing someone, and we have sex a couple of times a week. I really hope my libido doesn't disappear, because I genuinely enjoy being a sensual person."

"Perimenopause hasn't slowed me down." – Maya, 44

"I do it two to five times a week, either alone or with my long-distance partner. It's just part of my routine at this point."

"Menopause robbed me of my libido." – Tanya, 51

"I'm two years post-menopause and honestly… it doesn't interest me anymore. I'm single, so there's no obligation to please anyone. If I get the occasional twinge, I'll watch some porn and take care of it, but it's rare, maybe every few weeks. Bloody menopause has robbed me of so much."

"My sex drive ramped up massively — I could do it every day." – Leila, 50

"I think I'm moving from peri to menopause but I have an IUD so it's hard to tell. Recently my sex drive skyrocketed.

"I have sex two or three times a week but would happily have more. I masturbate at least that often too, maybe twice a day if I had privacy. Honestly, I can't get enough."

"Zero interest. None. And honestly? It's a relief." – Ruth, 51

"I have no interest in sex or masturbation and haven't for a year. I see it as a blessing — it makes it easier to stay away from dating and men in general."

"Surgical menopause wiped me out… until it didn't." – Nina, 49

"I went into surgical menopause 11 years ago and lost my sex drive for almost eight of them. But a couple of years ago I started exploring again.

"Turns out I still love it. I have a toy and usually do it once or twice a week. I'm just very selective about who else I give it to."

"My libido disappeared, I think I'm basically ace now." – Harper, 45

"I'm in perimenopause using MHT. I'm single and have zero libido. I masturbate three or four times a year and it's quick and not particularly pleasurable. The thought of sex kind of disgusts me now.

"I used to have a healthy libido, but a string of bad experiences plus perimenopause changed everything. I'd say I'm pretty much asexual at this point."

"It stops my vagina from drying out." – Paula, 48

"I usually do it two or three times a week. Honestly, it stops vaginal dryness for me — that's my main motivation."

"Two kids, peri symptoms, and a weekly date with my toy." – Sienna, 42

"On average I do it once a week by myself with my toy, but my partner and I also do it mutually because it helps me orgasm easier. During ovulation I do it more often. I've been masturbating since I was 12 and peri symptoms haven't stopped me."

"Some days I do it three times." – Felicity, 48

"I'm in perimenopause, single, and I love pleasuring myself with toys. I do it two to three times a week… or two to three times a day. Sometimes I use my imagination, sometimes I watch porn, usually lesbian porn or female masturbation, even though I'm straight. It's just what works for me."

"I used to howl the house down… now I've got nothing." – Julia, 63

For more menopause treatments, listen to this episode of Well. Post continues below.

"Menopause has completely changed me. I used to be loud and wild in bed, and now? Nothing. I don't even bother trying much anymore."

"I'm only 35 but I do it as much as possible." – Jade, 35

"I'm only 35 and I masturbate as much as possible. No shame, no excuses."

No "normal".

What the research shows, and what these women prove, is that there's no "normal" when it comes to self-pleasure. The same applies to menopause, which hits differently for every woman.

But if masturbation does help symptoms like dryness, stress, pain, and sleep, then it might be time to stop whispering about it, and start treating pleasure as just another form of healthcare.

Feature image: Canva.