'Everyone hates the feedback friend. Yet, you'd be nowhere without us.'

I know what you're thinking — nobody likes the friend who tells you that maybe, just maybe, your ex's new girlfriend seems nice, or that your work presentation could use some adjustments.

Us 'feedback friends' are the ones who'll tell you when you have lipstick on your teeth, or when your Instagram caption is trying too hard to look cool. And yes, we know you hate us.

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For context, we're the opposite of cheerleader friends. You know the ones — they're your ride-or-dies who think everything you do is amazing. They're the, "you're perfect just as you are" friends.

A cheerleader friend will help you block your ex on every social media platform (while also giving you necessary updates about their life). They're the safe space where you can fall apart, and when you do, they'll be there with wine, icecream, and zero judgment.

We need these friends, of course! They're the actual angels of friendship groups.

Butttttt, you also need us. Not in an, "I'm doing this for your own good" way. In an, "I care about you enough to be honest" way.

There's a massive difference between being a feedback friend and just being an a**hole. Feedback friends aren't here to tear you down or give unsolicited advice (that's something else entirely). We're here to tell you how something came across when you specifically ask for our opinion.

Good feedback friends know when to switch to cheerleader friends. But if you're the kind of person who already has a bunch of cheerleader friends, we stay in our feedback giving lane, because someone has to.

Being a feedback friend doesn't mean we can't also be your biggest supporter. If you need someone to tell you that you look great despite how you're feeling? We're there. If you need someone to hype up your Instagram post? We've already liked and fire emoji reacted.

But when you ask us if you should send that passive-aggressive email to your boss? We're going to tell you to sleep on it. Because that's what friends do.

Look, I'm about to have a little ego moment here, but being the feedback friend has actually changed lives (and I have the receipts to prove it).

Doing what's best for my friends is my number one priority. Whether it's helping them get that promotion, navigate a tricky breakup or have an unnerving discussion with their parents, it can be uncomfortable and awkward being the feedback friend in the moment, but I swear, it's so helpful in the long run.

The secret is knowing how to do it. Sometimes, you need a cheerleader who will tell you that you're amazing and perfect, just as you are. Other times, you need someone to gently point out that cutting bangs at 3am isn't your best life decision.

But if you have a friend who's only ever giving feedback, and never cheering you on, that's not a feedback friend — that's just someone who kinda hates you.

The key is consent. After all, nobody likes being ambushed by unsolicited advice or getting kicked when they're already down.

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Also? Timing is everything. There's a time for honest feedback, and a time to just pass the wine and say "that sucks". Good feedback friends know the difference.

We also know how to read the room. Sometimes a friend will ask for honest feedback, but what they really need is support. That's when we put on our cheerleader hat and save the real talk for another day.

So yes, us feedback friends might not always be your favourite person in the moment, but we're the ones who'll stop you from sending that drunk text, help you polish that job application, or tell you when that new business idea needs some more work.

Sometimes the best kind of friend isn't the one who tells you what you want to hear — it's the one who tells you what you need to hear.

And at least we'll tell you about that spinach in your teeth before your big presentation. You're welcome.

If you want more from Em Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.

Feature image: Canva.