Mamamia recaps FBoy Island: The eliminated men return with ALL of the gossip.

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The FBoys are graduating from Limbro despite absolutely none of them having good enough grades.

It's fine though, because they're about to return to the house to dish all the dirt on the remaining six men and gossip is much more important to me than their redemption arcs.

Everyone congregates for an event called 'the mansplain', which means things are about to get objectively bad. In a good, gossipy way.

YAY. Image: Binge.

Molly says Nick and Vernon are 'very equal' in her mind at the moment which is genuinely devastating to hear.

The men are asked to tell Molly what she needs to know about Vernon, and Benny yells "you're a wanker" from the crowd.

I KNEW I LOVED BENNY.

Mitch, who spent the past 27 years telling everyone he's ever met that Vernon's ex told him she was broken up with so the dirty dog could go on the show, asks him to explain himself for the 895th time.

Vernon says his ex is lying because she still wants him and hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha sure dude.

The Kama Sutra man whose name no one can remember says Molly has a choice between chiselled 'God Nick and "hillbilly with a mullet" and like... is that really a choice?'

I mean, the FBoy has points.

Absolutely everyone says Nick is a sweet angel man.

"Can Nick do no wrong?" Molly asks. "Everybody loves him, he's hot, he's got a big d*ck-"

MOLLY, SOME DECORUM PLEASE.

Next, the men are asked to come forward with gossip about Izaya.

Clay, who claims to be close personal friends with him, says he and Izaya made a pact to go out clubbing and 'pick up heaps of chicks' and HOLD ON I DON'T THINK CLAY IS HIS CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND.

Everyone, including Ziara and Izaya, decide Clay is a terrible mate.

Caleb, recently recovered from last week's roasting, is now ready to turn the heat on 30-something Cory.

Cory looks Ziara in the eyes and says he's 32. WHICH STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY THE INFORMATION SHARED TO MEDIA SAY HE'S 30.

Caleb asks why he'd told him he was 35, and Cory asks who the source is.

"You are the source!" Caleb replies.

A 10/10 perfect delivery.

Sean then decides to tell Molly about Caleb's disgusssssting comment about her, even though Caleb is not supposed to be in the hot seat and we were already done with the Molly grilling.

Normally, I'd applaud anyone who is willing to dredge up reality TV drama for our viewing pleasure, but Sean is the one who likes "taking girls down a peg" so f**k him.

Everyone is SHOOK.

Tag yourself, I'm Sophie. Image: Binge.

Nick jumps into defence mode (HOT!) and Sophie reads him for filth (also HOT!), before Sean asks why Cory didn't tell any of the women about it.

"I'm a feminist, I love women so I told him he wasn't right for talking s**t about Molly," Cory says, which is objectively hilarious.

They say he's a d*ck for not telling any of the women and precisely everyone thinks Ziara should choose Izaya.

The face of 30-something disappointment. Image: Binge.

We move on to Sophie's men, and Benny is absolutely here to... destroy Justin, mentally but maybe also physically.

Benny and Nico want him to ADMIT he said he was not attracted to any of the women which we know HE DID because CAMERAS and FOOTAGE.

Sophie tells him she thinks he said it but he's afraid to admit it to which he says 'lol no actually I didn't say it'.

BUT HE DID SAY IT.

The men offer absolutely no gossip about Joshy except that he's... funny.

SUSPICIOUS.

Either Joshy is a fully reformed former FBoy or he's the Final Boss of the FBoys and acting his lil heart out.

Abbie congratulates the men for mansplaining and welcomes them all home... to the house... for a sleepover after they've all just thrown each other under the bus.

Cute!

TERRIFYING. Image: Binge.

The women debrief and the consensus is: they're all confused AF. To help their decisions they each get to go on a 24 hour date with their men.

Molly says she needs a bit of excitement in her life, and Nick doesn't even have a mullet OR a moustache. So she takes Vernon on a parasailing date.

She then grills him on Mitch's story, which at this point we could all recount word-for-word.

Vernon, in his own words, "bulls**ts" his way through it. But Molly thinks he is being genuine and OH GOD THIS COULD BE CATASTROPHIC.

Justin spends about 20 of his 24 hour date insisting AGAIN that he does not remember saying what precisely all of us, including Sophie, the other men, all of production, the viewers, and probably also our ancestors at this point, definitely know to be true.

They spend the remaining four hours kissing.

Ziara and Cory clear the air: he admits to lying to the men about his age and apologises for not telling Molly or the other women about Caleb's comments.

Later, Cory wants to talk about ~the future~. Long story short, he will part the seas like Moses and kiss her feet every day in order to be with her.

Vernon attempts to show... emotion, and he's scarily good at faking it.

"You know I'm genuine and you know I won't lie to you," he says, while being a disingenuous LIAR.

DAMN HIM AND HIS STUPID MOUSTACHE.

Surely, SURELY he cannot win...

One more episode until we find out.

Read our recap of the FBoy Island Australia finale here.

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer and co-host of The Spill. For more pop culture takes, recommendations and sarcasm, you can follow her on Instagram.

Read more:

• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island episode 3: This FBoy pillow fight will be etched in our brains forever.
  
• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island episode 4: Uh, sir, you can't just talk to bar staff about Kama Sutra?
• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island episode 5: Is Nuggetgate the greatest reality TV storyline of our time?
• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island episode 6: An FBoy reveals himself... prematurely.
• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island episode 7: The FBoys begin their redemption arc... And it's working.
• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island episode 8: We need Molly and Nick to ride off into the sunset together RIGHT NOW.

Feature image: Binge.