Mamamia recaps FBoy Island: Uh, sir, you can't just talk to bar staff about Kama Sutra?

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The FBoys in Limbro are the worst actors of all time, but "we're gonna need a bigger Limbro" is a truly incredible line.

Our three newly revealed FBoys have arrived in d*ckhead purgatory and MITCH HAS A STORY FOR THEM.

YOU WOULDN'T BLOODY BELIEVE IT!

In Nice Guy heaven, a miscellaneous man (whose name I could not remember if you offered me one million dollars) pines for a woman he knew for approximately 18 hours.

And in the villa, the women are still roasting Mikey, the world's most uncharismatic FBoy, who Molly sent home yesterday.

At the men's resort, Benny is still saying "BRUV" a lot as he and Nico talk about how Justin is a big ol' FBoy who has been telling all the dudes he's not into Sophie.

How many times can I make the same 'wow I am soooo surprised' sarcastic joke???

It's time for a three-way group date, which is much more wholesome than it sounds. Sophie, Ziara, Molly and a group of men they've previously ignored play tug-of-war and watch the camera crew take shots of food that looks a lot like genitals.

Caleb and Ziara bond over their 'energies', chicken burgers and being... hot.

I mean, fair. They are both hot. Image: Binge.

Clay and Sophie bond over him being a mother's boy and Sophie, uh, liking mother's boys.

And James and Molly bond over... IDK actually, Molly can't stop thinking about a man named Nick. Wait. Is Nick the photo kissing Nice Guy in Nice Guy heaven? My sincerest apologies to no-longer-miscellaneous Nick.

In Limbro, Lakshya jokes about f**king coconuts and HOW MUCH ARE THESE MEN BEING PAID TO BE THIS F**KING WEIRD ON TELEVISION BECAUSE GOOD LORD.

And Riccardo is harassing the bar staff with talk of Kama Sutra.

GET AWAY FROM THEM SIR THEY HAVE WORK TO DO.

It's mixer time — I love how they just jump SO quickly between events here, there's really no f**king around! — and Molly grills Vernon on Mitch's story. 

Wait, have you heard it? So Mitch was on Tinder, right, and he saw this chick and... oh yeah, right, you heard. Cool, cool. Just checking.

Vernon obviously denies it to be true to Molly's face and then admits he lied in a piece-to-camera. 

I KNEW IT. THAT MULLET + SHIRT COMBO IS SETTING OFF PRECISELY EVERYONE'S FBOY RADAR.

And the shoes! Oh god the shoes! Image: Binge.

Then Riccardo asks Molly if she's interested in hearing why he is interested in her and it's because she's a nurse which is cool besides the fact that she's not a nurse!

OH.

Nico is dropping Justin in it because "he likes to look after women" which is 1. such an FBoy thing to say 2. great because we needed a little drama around here.

Justin says his words have been "remixed" (lol) and that Nico is a sh*t stirrer, and then Nico confronts him in front of everybody.

QUICK. GET BENNY IN THERE TO INFLAME THE SITUATION BY CALLING EVERYONE "BRUV".

Instead, Sophie yells at Nico that it's over and to move on even if he is "spitting facts". 

Everyone decides they don't care about peroxide Ken being a bit of a douche because Nico is an attention seeker, and it spirals so quickly that Ziara gets the ick for Izaya because he's friends with Nico.

THIS IS CHAOS AND I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN.

It's elimination time.

And WE HAVE A RULE BREAKER.

Molly is feeling GREAT because she broke into Nice Guy heaven and revived no-longer-miscellaneous Nick.

Nick, bless his heart, no longer needs to kiss a photo of Molly because the actual human woman is down to kiss him in real life.

He returns to the group where he and Verno have an IDGAF stand-off. 

Nick automatically wins by calling Vernon a knock-off Honey Badger, which is SUCH A GOOD ROAST. I'm sad I didn't come up with it. It's perfect. 10/10, no notes.

Team Nick! Team Nick! Team Nick! Image: Binge.

Sophie's bottom two are Nico and Justin, of course. She wants to sort out the drama and Nico stands firm on Justin being a dirtbag. 

"I'm just doin' what I do, just being a nice f**kin' person," he says.

And while I think Justin probably is a FBoy... Nico, sir, have you ever looked in a mirror?

Justin says he has "always been a protector [and] a provider" who stands up for the people he cares for, and he speaks like he is rehearsing lines for an upcoming prestige film.

The cadence. The tone. The physical acting when he turns to look at Nico while uttering the phrase "all this crap".

It's a performance that will serve him well when he's forced to take part in future Limbro skits.

"I hope that you can see us for," long pause, "the time that we've shared," he says.

"That's what's hit my heart."

Wow, he really practised this in the mirror.

Ziara selects Izaya because she hates his pal Nico and Simon, which is allegedly Mr F***k Himself's real name, because he is arrogant.

Which is... true.

And Molly selects James and Riccardo, who are both REALLY SAD.

James cries and Riccardo acts like a wounded dog and then -

UH.

CLAY HAS THOUGHTS.

He's seen Riccardo talking about Kama Sutra with the bar staff and thinks that's unacceptable. Sophie finds his interruption super hot.

It's decision time.

Sophie sends Nico home and Ziara sends Mr F***k Himself home, but before Molly's decision, Abbie tells her there must be consequences for bringing back no-longer-miscellaneous Nick. 

Basically, both James and Riccardo must leave. Even James tells her to do it, through tears. What a hero! Get this man an Avengers suit or something.

Chris Evans could never. Image: Disney/Binge.

Nico reveals himself as a FBoy.

Mr F**k Himself cackles like a Disney villain while revealing the same.

Riccardo says he also came on as a FBoy and everyone laughs, which is so f**king funny and insulting, I am living for it. He reckons even if that's the case, the women deserve the best, which is... literally the bare minimum level of humanity.

Congrats, pal.

Finally, darling James stuffers through tears that he's a Nice Guy and would like a group hug.

Abbie is like, "I'm in heels???? We're all tired???? Can we not????" and I think that's beautiful.

Catch you, and no-longer-miscellaneous Nick, next week.

Read more:

• Mamamia recaps FBoy Island: This FBoy pillow fight will be etched in our brains forever.
  

Feature image: Binge.