Does it still take a village to raise a child? We asked 20 mums.

Has anyone else noticed that in 2023 when you ask a mum how she is, "busy" seems to have been replaced with 'drowning' or 'exhausted'?

With mums more overwhelmed than ever, I wondered if the idea that 'it takes a village to raise a child' was still valued in 2023. Or did we lose our villages during COVID and are now trying to do everything ourselves?

I reached out to some overstretched mums to ask them if the 'village' was alive or dead and buried. Yes, the irony of adding to the 'to-do' list of busy mums didn’t escape me.

Watch: Parenting 101. Post continues after video.

Here’s what they told me.

It takes 'work' to find and maintain a village.

"With family in the UK, we never get a break and end up stressed, exhausted, and shouting all the time. I had to join a mums' group after my second child was born to meet local mums." – Sarah.

"Living where you didn’t grow up makes it hard to break into a village. It’s hard to find people to connect with. Finding people whose company you enjoy and want to spend time with is even harder!" – Marie.

"I’m envious of people having siblings and parents close by. They don’t need to try; they have their tribe already." – Amy.

"Post-COVID, everyone is so busy. Mums have taken advantage of flexibility at work, taking on even more than before. It’s more challenging to support other mums, even when we know the kids benefit so much." – Anita.

The effort of building a village seems well and truly worthwhile.

The village steps in when family can’t.

"I take another mum’s toddler for the afternoon so the mum can go to appointments because they don’t have family here. It’s a win as it’s a playmate for your child." – Christina.

"As someone who doesn’t have family nearby, we definitely rely on our support network of friends." – Sara.

"COVID taught us that our 'village' is more than just our loved ones. We can get support, comfort, and a way to share experiences through social media. As much as we try not to let it dominate our lives, it’s firmly a part of it." – Hayley.

The village helps mums, and kids, do 'all the things'.

"I spent the whole day yesterday running around doing stuff for all the big and little men in my life. But I got some help from some excellent women while doing it." – Sophie.

"It definitely takes a village to raise a netball team!" – Thi.

"The manager of our kids’ baseball team is a mum. The coaches are two dads. We help each other get the kids to practice and games each week. It’s just not possible to be everywhere all at once!" – Anna.

"Friends step in to pick up kids when you are stuck in the office, stuck in traffic, or just stuck. There is zero judgement. A quick text or phone call and the response is most often, 'Tell me what you need me to do'. – Tam.

The village provides a safe space for kids to grow.

"With financial pressures, two working parents, and post COVID isolation, we need a support network of neighbours, friends, school parents, and mothers' groups more now than ever. The 'village' helps create a happier, safer environment that your kids can grow and learn in." – Christina.

"The village is so important because it helps build our children’s character. It brings diverse people into their lives that will enrich them. This might be by sharing a passion that enables kids to experience and learn something they would never have learnt within their family unit." – Jacqui.

"In summer holidays, the kids tend to roam the suburb with their mates. They are in and out of each other’s houses and the local park. The 'village' keeps eyes on the kids, and texts between mums throughout the day let other mums know where the kids are!" – Emily.

"When the kids don’t want to talk to their parents about things, they know they have other parents they can talk to, who might be less likely to jump in with judgement or a solution." – Emma.

"It’s the village that we build memories with. The local school fair, street parties, Christmas concerts, Halloween trick or treating. On their own, they seem small, but they are traditions we all look forward to each year." – Sam.

The village is necessary for our mental health.

"My clients look after my two young daughters so I can go for an ocean swim or surf. They don’t have grandkids and enjoy the cuddles, and I get a break for my mental health and get a piece of my identity back." – Christina.

"My village keeps me sane!" – Amy.

"Catching up with other mums and talking about what’s going on for our kids honestly and openly helps us see that we aren’t alone. We are all going through the same stuff." – Em.

"The village is essential for getting counsel, advice, a shoulder to cry on and lots of wine when navigating through all the new stuff, the tough stuff, and the 'OMG, my kid did that too' stuff!" – Tess.

Listen to This Glorious Mess. On this episode, we thought we'd reflect on our parenting highs and lows of 2022. Post continues after audio.

Some advice never gets old.

It seems that way regarding parenting and the belief that 'it takes a village to raise a child'. Because despite our busyness and the work that building a village requires, the effort is rewarded tenfold in support of our families and ourselves.

What do you think? Do you have a village, or is it easier to parent without one?

Angela Eves is a mum to four crazy humans and two even crazier golden retrievers. Requires coffee to function. Believes everything is better when coloured, from hair to walls, and anything in between.

Feature Image: Supplied.