'I don't have a kid, but I told my workplace I do.'

Imagine this scenario.

"Bye, it's my turn to collect the kids from school," says Danielle every Thursday at 2.45pm.

Feeling guilty about leaving her work behind, she waves goodbye to her colleagues and makes a hasty retreat before any judgemental side eyes.

In an office nearby, Kelly is closing her laptop and giving a similar speech.

"My son has an appointment," she tells the office, before bee-lining for the door.

The women unknowingly cross each other in the street as they go to retrieve their children. Both are mid 40s. Both have blonde hair. Both 'have sons the exact same age'. They would be identical, except one of them is living a lie.

Danielle has a son. Kelly does not.

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It seems an outlandish scenario, a fib fraught with complications, but it's one that many child-free women are living to, in their words, "equalise" with working mums.

According to She Defined, emerging research indicates that child-free women face unspoken expectations to work longer hours and are given lower priority for leave during school holidays, compared to colleagues with children.

Speaking to the ABC, Melissa Wheeler, a senior lecturer in business administration at RMIT University, said there is anecdotal evidence that "non-parents feel pressure to pick up the slack" when those with caring responsibilities are unavailable.

What's more, research by the University of Sydney found that older single women without children are often assumed by employers to be "unencumbered" by family duties, leading to expectations that they will cover for others or forgo leave.

So, instead of broaching their dog's vet appointment with their superiors, some child-free women are opting for an easier option: inventing a kid.

"I faked having a child once to get out of work, telling my boss that 'my daughter' was having a seizure," one woman told Mamamia. "In reality, it was my male cat having the seizure. It was still a medical emergency and should be treated as such. Pain in the arse to keep up the story though."

Another invented children at work simply to "get out of social things".

"It is very inconvenient that they are now 24, 28, and 32. With two living in England and one living five hours away," she said of her imaginary kids. "They enabled me to avoid staff Christmas parties, staff functions and social things I just don't want to go to."

A third questioned the definition of a kid.

"Does my puppy count?" she asked. "I think so and hence I say her name like she's my child (because she is), and I don't correct when people ask 'how's [dog name?]'

"While everyone else is off multiple times a month for their sick kids, I'm slogging it out. I like to think it's equalising the workplace."

To her, the fake kid ruse isn't a lie, "managers just don't pay that much attention".

"Women who are childless by their own choice, or not, often carry the burden of workload while silently sitting through countless conversations about re-scheduling meetings to accommodate kids, no projects due during school holidays etc. So I figure, why not? As far as I'm concerned, my dog is my baby," she said.

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Another woman faked having a child so she could attend her own medical appointments.

"I was doing IVF, and it was before it was widely discussed and accepted, so I had scans / injections etc. And many appointments fell in work time," she said. "I faked having a kid almost once a week until I told them I was 12 weeks pregnant with my second."

The lie, however, wasn't easy (nor fun) to keep up.

"I actually hated doing it, but also had to protect myself and my job at the time. They never caught me out, I always picked up my daughter immediately after the appointment and went online for work so they thought it was true."

Others haven't invented a kid quite yet, but have admitted that they see the appeal.

"Honestly, my husband and I are considering it," one woman said. "We both have colleagues who have left work early because their kid has basketball or parent teacher or whatever, and we don't really get that same unwavering understanding that life happens.

"And I get it, being a parent is hard, especially a single parent, but no one really talks about child-free colleagues picking up the slack at work to give flexibility to parents."

Another woman said if she had her time over, she might have gone along with it.

"It's too late for me now, but I wish I'd have thought of it years ago. Maybe I can adopt an imaginary grandchild!"

Hands up if you need help. Image: What To Expect When You're Expecting

They are not alone in wanting to use creative tactics.

"I haven't made up a kid," one woman admitted, "but I've definitely invented a few grandparents that had been long dead… to re-die."

And then there are those who fake other things entirely, just to level the playing field.

"I have faked being a cigarette smoker at places where people get cigarette breaks," said another. "I can totally sympathise with somebody who has a fake kid that has a lot of fake challenges."

But for the working mums doing the school pickup and medical appointments, leaving early isn't all it's cracked up to be.

The 2024 National Working Families Survey, conducted by Parents at Work and UNICEF Australia, found that 74 per cent of women (including mothers and carers) reported feeling stressed balancing work and family commitments.

The same survey revealed that 50 per cent of respondents felt that an employee's commitment to their job was questioned if they used family-friendly working arrangements.

"I am very lucky my boss understands that sometimes I need to go to the kids, but leaving early is stressful to be honest," one mum told Mamamia.

"If work is not done or I have to rush to finish a job that will have to be dealt with later. Plus, when I leave I have to deal with the afternoon traffic and am usually rushing to get to a meeting at school after leaving later than I should have!!

"I would much prefer to work my usual hours and not have to work back or work through my lunch break on another day."

Another parent argued that her child has actually been a disadvantage in her career.

"As a female single parent, I have mostly downplayed my child as I find it became a reason to pass over me for opportunities or question my dedication to the job."

The truth is, women can't win. Have a child, and your dedication might be questioned. Don't have one, and your time is seen as endlessly available. For some, a kid can open doors. For others, it quietly closes them.

Navigating work as a woman often means making yourself smaller, hiding parts of your life, or inventing others to be seen as equally worthy of boundaries.

The fact that these strategies exist at all is proof that the system isn't built for balance, and it still has a long way to go.

Feature Image: Modern Family/ABC