If you’re ever feeling like you need an antidote to the smell of a tiny baby’s little round head, the trusting look in the eyes of a fluffy puppy or the way the sun hits your kitchen table on a perfect sunny morning, I have just the thing.
If you’re in the mood to get grumpy, to get bitter, to decide that people are the Actual Worst, I know where you can go.
If you just want to wallow in the shallow hatred and petty jealousies of people who wish their lives had turned out differently, I can give you directions.
You see, earlier this year, I spent three months hanging out in some of the most negative corners of the internet. And I’ve only just washed off the stench.
I was writing a book. It’s a novel actually, which is exactly the kind of wanky statement the women in these forums would detest. Sorry, guys.