'When my partner told me his kink, I was shocked. Now I love it too.'

I'm in a committed relationship with a man who dotes on me, can't keep his hands off me, is emotionally mature and incredibly loyal. 

He compromises, he listens to me when I speak, he offers support, checks in on me and always makes me his number-one priority. 

There's just one thing.

Though he hates the term, my partner is a cuckhold.

Meaning he loves it when I sleep with other men.

I know what you're thinking. Automatically, you assume that he must be sleeping with other women, too, if he is allowing me to sleep with other men, right? You assume he's a devious, sex-crazed, disloyal partner. 

But here's the thing. My partner hides nothing from me. He has made me feel the safest and most secure I have ever felt, and prior to him, I was in a relationship for 15 years with a man who, for various reasons, I did not trust. 

I'm a sex-positive woman, but I don't like to share my man. However, when I sleep with other men, it really turns my partner on.

This was initially a difficult concept for me to grasp. When he first mentioned it, I automatically assumed I would never do that. I "yucked" his "yum", so to speak.

So many logistical nightmares involved with the concept of sleeping with other men while in a committed relationship kept cropping up in my mind. And I was dismissive.

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With a lot of conversations, however (prompted by me, as I was so curious to understand his point of view), I began to realise that as someone who loves sex, the idea of experiencing more sex with more people and still having the benefit of a committed partner and a stable relationship to come home to seemed perfect for me. (Especially since he loves it when I come home and tell him all the details.)

I explained to him that I wouldn't be doing it for him, that I'd be doing it for me. And he said he wouldn't want me to do it if that wasn't the case. So, without any pressure from him, I dove right in.

He does have boundaries, though.

I can't sleep with anyone we know, or are in any way connected to. We also agreed that we would not share this detail of our relationship with anyone, ever. Which is why I write this anonymously, so I can share our story and break the stigma but also protect our identities. I can't tell my girlfriends. It stays just between us. Those are the only rules.

Now, let's get into the nitty gritty. 

My partner likes to hear about every detail of my sexual encounters with other men. I tell him while I pleasure him. He does not restrict me in terms of what I can do with other men. He wants me to be pleasured by them, and to hear about how I give them pleasure.

There are no rules around what I can do — as long as I'm enjoying myself, that turns him on.

The more details I give him, the more satisfied he becomes. One aspect of his arousal based around this, he tells me, is a degree of jealousy, and a sense of it being 'so wrong it's right'.

If ever I don't feel like I have the emotional or physical or spiritual capacity to sleep with someone else, I let him know I need a break, and he never mentions it again — not until I bring it up.

This "cucking" is by no means a significant part of our relationship or a driving factor in our sexual pleasure together. In the beginning, he told me if I never wanted to venture into this, that it would absolutely not be a dealbreaker. As much as he likes the kink, he doesn't need it to feel satisfied. That I am more than enough for him. And that has remained true.

I sleep with other men when I feel like it and when I'm done, I come home to him and tell him all about it. His eyes light up.

We cook dinner together, we do the dishes together, we adore each other. And I sleep with other men. These things can all be true.

This is a lot more common than people realise, and I share my story in the hopes that other women out there do not fear if their man expresses these kinds of desires. It's fun to explore your partner's kinks, if you're willing, and I am also getting the sex now I should have had 15 years ago (but instead I married the first and only guy I ever slept, up until the point we divorced).

Before my current partner, I would have never ever considered this dynamic in a relationship. I've always been so cautious with boundaries, but this dynamic doesn't blur the lines at all. He has no interest in any other woman. He wants me to have a threesome (with or without him), and he has never and will never ask for anything in return.

He has told me over and over I'm the only woman he will ever need for the rest of his life, and it has made our relationship so much stronger that I have supported him and explored his sexual desires instead of shaming him like past partners have.

I love him so much. Sleeping with other men does not impact that at all. He is my soul mate. My life partner. And I will marry that man one day.

Feature image: Getty.