97 reasons why I'm not exercising right now

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It’s raining. It’s cold. It’s Wednesday and you ate a donut. There are so many reasons to not exercise right this minute, and we’ve got 97 of them below. By now you know that you should exercise on a semi-regular basis but somehow you don’t quite make off the couch. You ready?

1. It’s too cold. I might get hypothermia.

2. It’s too hot. I might get heat stroke.

3. It’s raining.

4. It’s windy.

5. It’s too nice a day to waste it on exercise – I’m going to have brunch instead.

6. I just washed my hair.

7. I can’t find a hairband.

8. I really deserve a sleep-in this morning.

9. It’s Monday morning; this is just too cruel.

10. It’s Tuesday; I still need to ease myself into the week.

11. It’s Wednesday; I’ll take today off as a hump day treat.

12. It’s Thursday; I’m tired.

13. It’s Friday; I deserve to treat myself.

14. I have a hangover.

15. I have a headache.

16. I’m about to get my period.

17. I have my period.

18. I just had my period.

19. I might get a blister.

20. Oh no, I forgot to wash my workout clothes.

21. I can’t go out in public in these clothes.

22. I’ve already eaten a donut today – oh well, health regimen starts over tomorrow.

23. It’s going to be a tough day at work, I’d better take it easy.

24. I’ve heard that over-exercising is really bad for you. Better make sure I don’t overdo it.

25. I had sex last night – my workout is done.

26. I ran around a lot at work today. That’s pretty much a gym workout.

27. I promise I’ll go after just one more episode of…

28. I don’t want to be tired for the weekend.

29. I don’t want to wash my gym clothes.

30. I had salad for dinner.

31. Gym People are scary.

32. I don’t want to shower at the gym. Because gross.

33. I might fall off the treadmill, or be crushed by a kettleball, or injure myself on the rowing machine…

34. The gym is probably too busy  right now anyway. I won’t even get in.

35. I might see someone I know.

36. I can’t handle the taste of protein shake today.

37. SWEAT. And sweat pimples.

38. I haven’t shaved my legs.

39. I just shaved my legs.

You know you need some motivation right now:

8 ways to drag yourself out of bed to work out
Let me introduce you to the personal trainer who lives in your computer
Why cancelling my gym membership got me fit
Here’s how Jennifer Lawrence gets in Hunger Games shape
The new workout everyone’s talking about: Barre Bod

40. I’ve just broken up with someone.

41. Oh no, was that a sneeze? Is my nose starting to run? Better rest up.

42. My iPod’s not charged.

43. I can’t work out, I’m hungry.

44. I’m too full to work out.

45. I’m too busy texting my girlfriends.

46. I’ve run out of deodorant.

47. My spine feels weird.

48. I’m too busy to take a lunch break today.

49. I don’t want to sweat in front of people.

50. I don’t want to wash my hair post-exercise.

51. My sports bra hurts.

52. My toenails are too long and it hurts when I run in joggers.

53. I have a fringe. Running will just make it greasy.

54. I don’t want to subscribe to society’s views of what a beautiful body is *feminist rant…*

55. You can’t run in ugg boots.

56. I can’t deal with techno gym music this early in the morning.

57. I have a bad case of the CBFs.

58. I just fake tanned.

59. I can’t be bothered driving the 15 minutes to the gym.

60. I might trip over in Step class.

61. I don’t know the steps to Zumba/Barre/Body Attack.

62. The Pump class teacher scares me.

63. I feel like a guinea pig on a treadmill and it’s degrading.

64. I’m scared of using a plastic drinking bottle.

65. I’ve just discovered my yoga pants are see-through.

66. I’m worried I’ll feel sore afterwards.

67. My dog will miss me if I leave now.

68. My bed is really cosy.

69. I can be curvy like Eva Mendes if I stay at home.

70. I don’t want to go to work looking like a tomato.

71. I like my body just the way it is (ahem).

72. I have an existential problem with exercise equipment because you’re moving but you’re not getting anywhere.

73. My earphones always fall out when I run. And they get sweaty.

74. It’s frowned upon to take wine to the gym.

75. It’s flu season – sharing germs and sweat with other humans is gross.

76. My armpits might smell.

77. It’s not Monday, and I can’t start my fitness plan on a Wednesday.

78. I won’t eat cake for the rest of the week if I can just sleep in this morning.

79. I don’t like it.

80. What if I fart during yoga?

81. My boobs are too big.

82. There’s no day care at my gym.

83. I’m too uncoordinated.

84. I might end up in the background of someone’s gym selfie.

85. I might get a stitch.

86. I’ve just had my hair/nails did.

87. I’ve been lifting my kid all day – so my arms are done.

88. I’m reading a really good book right now.

89. I’m trying to be kind to my body. Squats are not kind.

90. My body is a temple, and do you ever see weights in a temple? No.

91. I walked up the stairs today instead of taking the lift.

92. If I had the flu I wouldn’t be able to exercise and I haven’t had the flu yet this winter so I have some ‘spare’ days to not exercise.

93. I’m afraid of falling in love with my pilates instructor.

94. My couch gets lonely without me.

95. Lying in bed is the same as lying down in a yoga studio, right?

96. I’m trying to make Horizontal Running a thing.

97. Getting an extra hour of sleep will surely do my body more good than running on a treadmill. Surely…

There are a million (well at least 97) great reasons not to exercise but the trick is to Just Do It (see what we did there?) anyway.

What excuses have you used not to exercise?