'I'd been keeping a secret from my wife, but the "parting gift" I gave her is what exposed me.'

This is Part 2 of Luke's story. You can read Part 1 here.

During their time interstate, Lucy* had discovered something on Luke's computer that would change everything between them.

"They were images of men naked," Luke* told Mamamia's Everyone Has An Ex podcast. "This was the early days of the internet, and clearly I didn't realise that she could see what I was looking at. You can't imagine the wash of horror that comes over you when that's brought up. Something you thought was private, boom, there it is."

When Lucy confronted Luke about the images, he told her the truth; or at least, what he understood to be the truth at the time.

"I just said, 'Well, it's just a curiosity. I was just curious.' And that's the truth."

But the reality was far more complex than even Luke fully grasped. This wasn't just idle curiosity, it was something that had been with him since childhood, something he'd never been able to fully understand or explore.

"I guess I had known from primary school that there was something there; again, a curiosity. At that age, I didn't know what that meant. Even through high school," he said.

Growing up in the '80s, when "gay culture was not prominent in mainstream media," and with a father who was "extremely homophobic," Luke had learned to bury these feelings.

"I'd kind of dismissed it in my mind as something like… we'd all love to go in a spaceship and feel weightlessness and be in outer space and look back at the Earth. We'd all love to do that, but we're just not going to do it."

Lucy was incredibly understanding about Luke's confession, but was curious to know "where this was coming from" and "how deeply" it sat in Luke's mind.

"I guess the subtext of those questions was, 'Should I be worried?' And I did my best to reassure her because she was really supportive… She was like, 'Well, that's fine, but just talk to me about it'."

Watch: The dating experience women keep having. Post continues after video.

The key for Lucy was communication, but Luke confessed he "let her down" when the secret internet browsing continued.

Each time Lucy found Luke's search history, they would argue. Then the couple reached a breaking point.

Lucy took Indigo*, who was two years old, and left. Within weeks, Luke had moved in with a friend. The loss was devastating.

"Two years of every day coming home to see her from work, waking up through the night for whatever, waking up in the morning and there she is to greet you in her cot. Two years of that beautiful intensity just flicked off."

Luke and Lucy tried to reconcile for a year, but ultimately knew it was over. Fortunately, they managed to separate amicably, always putting Indigo first.

"We both knew that if we were going to make a separated life work as a family of three, for Indigo's sake, we had to keep it together between the two of us in a co-operative, new version of loving relationship."

As Luke adjusted to single life in his late 30s, those long-suppressed feelings began to surface more strongly. 

"I don't think I saw the end of the marriage as the end of love in my life. But I gave it that first year, and then I went on some dates with women. None of them progressed."

Then, he decided to take the leap and download a dating app. Nervous but excited, Luke "got chatting to a bloke" and the pair organised to meet up.

"You can't imagine the heart pumping as I'm knocking on that door," he said.

"As you imagine, it was clumsy and awkward and you're overthinking every move. It wasn't my finest hour. It was very transactional. It wasn't a loving sort of environment. There was no connection between us. But I guess there was a level of physicality where I thought, there's something worth exploring here."

Luke continued exploring, dating both men and women while keeping this part of his life completely private. Then, three years after his marriage ended, he met a man named Angelo* at a pub.

"I started chatting to him and he was hilarious. You know, you just meet people, and you're like, you've got a vibe, you're funny, you can riff with them."

With Angelo, everything clicked. They exchanged numbers, and began to hang out regularly.

"There was a real energy between us. Different to Lucy, but just intoxicating," Luke said.

"As we went on, I guess with him, it was the combination of the physical and the mental. I was getting to know a great guy, and I was also connecting with him in a relationship intimately."

Within months, Luke knew he couldn't hide this relationship.

"I hadn't been that happy for years, years, and years. I'd not had these feelings."

Coming out was terrifying, but Luke knew he was ready. He started with his work colleagues who had supported him through his marriage breakup.

"I said, 'I've got a bombshell for you… I'm not single anymore. I've found someone'. And, you know, they erupt, they're thrilled. And then the kicker, 'And it's a man'."

The reaction was everything he'd hoped for, with no judgement from anyone. Luke's mother was equally supportive, "like she'd read a textbook the night before of what to say".

But telling Lucy proved more complicated. Luke's brother had warned him that his ex-wife might already know, and Luke's worst fears were confirmed. He'd given Lucy his old iPhone without properly wiping it, and she'd been receiving his text messages from Angelo for months. Luke was mortified.

"In the early days of courting and flirting and falling in love with someone, you say all sorts of beautiful but private things. Would you want to pass that phone around for people to read? Probably not... Would you want your ex to read it? Probably not."

"And the phone call that followed was the most upset I've ever been," he said.

Listen to the full episode of Everyone Has An Ex below. Post contines afterwards.

When Lucy picked up the phone, Luke said, "I believe you might know why I'm ringing". Then the tears came.

"The crying in that car from me… anyone walking past must have wondered what the hell was going on. But the emotion was coming from sadness that she found out that way because she deserved better."

When it came time to tell five-year-old Indigo about Angelo, Luke kept it simple.

"So you explain, sometimes a man and a woman love each other and are together like mummies and daddies. And sometimes it's a man and a man. And sometimes it's also a woman and a woman... and it's okay because they love each other."

Angelo was wonderful with Indigo, and for three years, Luke felt like he'd found his true self.

"The release and relief of something that felt right was incredible. That's not to say the previous relationships or my marriage felt wrong, but this was just a new version… it was like a rebirth. It was like the birth of Luke 2.0."

But even the most beautiful relationships can face challenges. Luke's demanding job began to take its toll.  They broke up, got back together, then broke up again for good.

The loss hit Luke hard, and he struggled to find a connection as strong as Angelo.

"I'm not the one to say 'he's the one that got away', but if I was, it would be him."

Still, he remained optimistic about finding love. And, most importantly, his relationship with Lucy and Indigo flourished.

"We still love each other. And I think that's important for Indigo to know, and she sees it. The love and the respect that we have for each other. And it's real. It's not just manufactured for her."

While Luke sometimes wonders what might have been different if he'd explored his sexuality earlier, he has no regrets, saying, "that may have set me on a path that hits the delete key on the best thing in my life, Indigo."

"I wouldn't change that. In my head, I feel like I've lived two lives… The feeling of Luke 2.0 just feels so much more at ease with himself and relaxed and real… I'm so much faster to embrace people and love.

"It's not perfect, but life feels now so much better than it did 20 years ago. I feel like this is me. Feels like a better fit. Luke 1.0 was a good fit, but 2.0 feels like a better fit."

This is Part 2 of Luke's story. You can read Part 1 here.

Feature Image: Getty (Stock image for illustrative purposes only).

*Names have been chanegd to protect identities.