by JO ABI
“Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.” Diane Sawyer quoting writer Eugene Luther Gore Vidal on The View
Have I been prone to a stab of envy from time to time? Of course I have. Jealousy and envy are normal emotions, but it’s what we do with emotions like these that I find interesting.
I’ve had a few career highlights over the past twenty years (not as many as I’d like but that’s okay) and how ‘friends’ react has always interested me. There are those who call and congratulate me (even if they are feeling a little put out) and then there are those who maintain radio silence. Even when I call them and eventually get them to pick up, my latest success isn’t even mentioned. It’s like it hasn’t even happened.
It’s not that I need their praise and attention – it’s just that I’m always so happy for my friends and their successes. Why can’t they be happy for me too? They know I was fired from my dream job eight years ago. They know I lost everything in the financial crisis three years ago. I’ve started to slowly rebuild my finances and my career and I thought everyone would be so happy for me.
When I mentioned to my husband that a certain friend hadn’t been returning my calls since my latest achievement he named the friend immediately, without me having to even give him a hint. When I asked him how he knew he just scoffed. But I still feel sad. Does my success take anything away from them? Why can’t they be proud and then channel any feelings they have to motivated them to achieve their own dreams?