Not depressed, just unimpressed: Welcome to the ennui generation.

I saw a video on TikTok last week that's been living rent-free in my head ever since. 

Posted by American creators and besties Elisa and Elizabeth, the TikTok is filmed from the front seat of a car, with the women delivering a duologue on the realities of midlife 'meh'.

"We're very happy with our lives," begins Elisa, "We have great lives, the best husbands, we love our children."

Watch the hosts of Mamamia Out Loud discuss their 2026 predictions. Post continues below.

"But…" interjects Elizabeth, "we lost weight, and we're still miserable."

"We don't want to do anything. We don't want to go anywhere. Nothing's exciting."

"We're not depressed, it's just that nothing wows us anymore," adds Elisa.

It's a kind of flat, "is this all there is" sentiment that is often discussed by women in midlife in relation to being burnt out or perimenopausal, and while the pair frame it as such, the comments section tells a different story. 

This is not just a midlife phenomenon. It's a global kind of ennui, and we've probably been stuck here for longer than we care to admit. 

@tweetie710

#wdnc #over50 #over50club #menopause #mentalhealth

♬ original sound - Elisa Lynn & Elizabeth Susan

"This is me, 100 percent," comments one viewer. 

"Not depressed, just unimpressed – I feel this to my core," writes another. 

"It's called anhedonia," comments another, "I was diagnosed a few months ago. It isn't depression. It's a lack of feeling joy over anything."

The not-so-roaring twenties.

Pre-pandemic, we were gearing up for the new 'roaring twenties,' with the momentum of a new decade full of promise and innovation to propel us forward in all the right ways. 

Instead, halfway to 2030, we've found ourselves squarely in the 'rotting twenties', and in spite of spending lockdowns yearning for the kinds of expansive life experiences we were denied during COVID, we find ourselves lacking the motivation or energy to go out and have them. 

According to a 2024 study, time spent out of the house decreased by roughly 16 percent from 2019 to 2023. Even after restrictions were lifted, we didn't bounce back. Gen Z invented 'bedrotting' – the practice of eschewing social occasions in favour of recharging under the blankets with Uber Eats and Netflix for company.

Millennials have favoured the term 'goblin mode', the Oxford Dictionary word of the year for 2022, a phrase depicting "a type of behaviour which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations."

Psychologist Adam Grant even coined a term for the phenomenon: languishing.

Why we're languishing (and why it's dangerous).

Described as 'the void between depression and flourishing', languishing, while not a mental health condition, is a significant risk factor for developing one. It's the absence of a lot of the things that protect our well-being — connection, passion, hobbies, community.

But there's another risk lurking beneath the surface of our collective ennui. One written in algorithms and echo chambers, that has experienced an inversely proportionate rise in relation to our dwindling ability to give a shit. 

Outrage. 

When you are numb from the overstimulation of doomscrolling and the 24-hour news cycle, contentment doesn't register. The only emotion strong enough to pierce the apathy is outrage. 

Outrage is the dopamine hit that makes us feel something in a sea of nothing. But it is a cheap fuel – it burns hot and fast, leaving us more exhausted (and less impressed) than before. We only identify in opposition to things (hating a politician, cancelling a celebrity) because loving things requires an energy we no longer have.

It's why you'll willingly spend an hour down a rabbit hole reading angry comments on TikTok, while a text from your friend goes unanswered.

So how did we get here? Has the relentlessness of life in the past few years stretched our threshold for stimulation to the point where only the most extreme reactions still register? Is it burnout? Dopamine dysfunction? Hopelessness and disillusionment at the injustice of the power balance? 

According to clinical psychotherapist Julie Sweet of Seaway Counselling and Psychotherapy, it's all of the above.

"Humans have a finite mental and emotional bandwidth," she says. 

"When we exceed that capacity through constant stimulation or exposure, we can feel depleted, exhausted, apathetic, indifferent, or emotionally flat. This can also show up as dissociation – essentially 'checking out' when things feel too much." 

Julie Sweet. Image: Supplied.

Sweet explains that we each have a window of tolerance, and when we move outside of it, "we shift into states of hyperarousal (feeling anxious, tense and on edge) or hypoarousal (feeling shut down, numb and detached). Both can leave us feeling as though we're running on empty."

How to shift gears.

So how do we inject a bit of awe back into our lives then? Are we destined to move forward in these admittedly grim times lacking the energy and motivation to make new memories? Or do we need this period of hibernation in order to rebuild our energy reserves?

Sweet says it's all about maintaining connection, whatever that looks like. 

"We often isolate when we're overwhelmed, yet that's when we most need connection and the capacity to ask for what we need," she says. 

Listen to this episode of Mamamia Out Loud on why you might actually be stuck. Post continues below.

"Setting boundaries around social media, the news cycle, and online consumption can also be protective."

They're strategies worth exploring, because while outrage burns hot and fast, awe is the sustainable energy source we're drastically running low on. If we can lower our defenses just enough to let those small glimmers of joy and excitement back in, we might find we're not just surviving the 'rotting twenties', but actually starting to live in them.

Feature image: Getty.