Don't judge me but... I hate my engagement ring.

It is supposed to be the ring I wear forever. But I just can’t.

Before I even start, I just want to make sure I am clear on this. I love my fiance. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

And I know an engagement ring in no way defines the love we have for each other.

I hate it. There I said it. I hate it.

When he proposed he went to so much effort to make it perfect. He did the whole picnic on a park overlooking the ocean. He popped the champagne. Handed me the glass. And then got down on one knee.

I said “yes” before he even finished proposing. Before he opened the tiny little box. But that’s irrelevant. I still would’ve said “yes” even if I saw the ring before.

But the problem is, I now have to wear the ring. And sure, everyone is being super nice about it. Saying that it is lovely when they see it.

But I know they don’t think it is lovely. I don’t think it is lovely.

It is completely wrong.

It is a rectangle diamond (who likes rectangle diamonds?) on a thick yellow gold band (do people still even wear yellow gold anymore?) with these black, teeny-tiny stones embedded in the yellow-gold band (only halfway around).

Yes, I know I am sounding like a spoiled little brat right now. But I'm not unhappy with the size of the diamond. I don't care about that or how much it cost. I care about whether it is my style. My taste.

And it isn't. I have not one bit of yellow gold in my jewellery collection.

It's also not like he was going in blind. Before we become engaged I would play this 'game' with him. Whenever we walked past a jewellery store we would stop and look at the rings. Then I would get him to guess which one I would like (he never chose yellow gold). And then I would show him which one it actually would be.

So he knew I loved white gold. He knew I liked princess-cut. He knew I liked as plain as can be.

And then there is the whole other level.

Am I marrying a man that doesn't even know me?

I mean, if you can't even get my ring right - the one that I have to wear "until the day I die" - maybe I'm marrying the wrong person.

Am I over-reacting? Should I just learn to love the ring? Or say something to him?

If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email info@themotherish.com with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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