Em Rusciano: A "Just in Case of Death" letter to my daughters.

When you find yourself on the precipice of a complete emotional breakdown ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I tired?
2. Have I eaten enough?
3. Am I thirsty?
4. When did I last exercise?
5. What is coming up for me that I’m worried about?

Then sit down and have a hot drink and ninety per cent of the time you will feel better.

If by chance you are in that ten per cent where the above list and a hot drink isn’t helping, call your sister and tell her. Talk it through. You should also talk to your dad. He is very good in these situations.

He is excellent at preventing the world from caving in around you. (I’m speaking from experience here. At times, his extreme stoicism is all that kept me sane.) Failing your sister and your father, go and seek professional help. I cannot stress that enough: therapy is a very, very good thing. Find yourself a good head doctor and you will be okay, I promise. I spent my life overthinking things, trying to control the outcome of situations so as to avoid any pain. It is a terrible burden and it corroded my insides. I do not wish that for either of you.

Look after yourself. Never expect anyone to provide for you. Earn your own cash, find your own path, be in control of the things that happen to you. Find out what it is that makes you happy and try to make a living doing that. Don’t accept a job you hate just for the money, that will destroy your soul and end badly, trust Mummy on that one. Call your dad three times a week when you move out, family is important. Our family is important.

Go to the library often, and keep reading. You both currently love books; even though screens are calling your names, against all odds, you still respect the page. Books don’t run out of batteries and you can’t crack or break them.

Volunteer, help out those who are less fortunate than you. It’s just a good thing to do and on a selfish level it helps for when you get too far into your own head. Volunteering allows you to get outside of yourself, it has a way of putting life back into focus when it becomes blurry and illegible.

Keep your pubic hair, trim it at the sides so as to adhere to some form of social expectations but keep most of it. Leave your eyebrows alone, Mummy went too far down the nineties path and had to draw them on for the rest of time. That added at least fifteen minutes to my morning schedule – you saw the work I had to put into them!

Buy the best underwear you can afford, cotton ones: your vagina needs to breathe. If things go wrong down south go see a doctor straightaway. White pants don’t suit anyone, invest in great jeans and never, under any circumstances, wear plastic bra straps in lieu of a strapless bra. Everyone can see them, they’re not a cloak of invisibility, adding diamantés to them does not improve them! Besides spitting on my grave and insulting my legacy you will just look like a bedazzled rack of lamb.

Hold off on cutting a fringe, you might think you want to but it only looks good for a week and then you spend a year trying to grow it out, just go and buy a clip-on one should the mood strike.

Rare Mother/teenager shot. I'll take it.

A photo posted by e m r u s c i a n o (@emrusciano) on Jan 10, 2017 at 3:10am PST

Find yourself a gay or five, gay men are your friends, it’s in both your DNA to be attracted to them. You can’t turn them, believe me, but you can love them and they will love you back just as fiercely.

I bequeath you Michael and Lyndon, they will now field your pop culture, relationship and fashion-related questions. The two of them combined basically makes me so it will be like I’m still there.

Try not to spend too much time watching boys do stuff, make sure you get out and do your own shit. Make music, play sport, build things, write; do it yourself. Don’t be relegated to a spectator.

Be each other’s strength, you’re such a complementary pair. Odie the smiling, crafty, wheeler dealer and Chella always measured, cautious and sensible.

Chella, remember to stay in the light, avoid overthinking things and trust your gut. Stay close to your sister and you will always be okay, Odette brings the sunshine into room, the light seems to follow her wherever she goes.

Odie, don’t do too much stupid shit, okay? I love you dearly, my wonderful baby, however sometimes you go where the wind takes you, which isn’t always the best place! Maybe just run any major life decisions by Chella and Dad before making them.

Stay away from ice, the drug not frozen water. It is an insidious beast that is taking hold of many people I know and once it finds its way into your veins and bloodstream it becomes nearly impossible to defeat.

I accept you may try other forms of illegal substances but you must make a solemn DEATH vow that ice will not be one of them. Same goes for heroin and LSD. Look, I would prefer if you didn’t try anything, drugs are bad. Just say no, okay?

Odie, you’re a colourful, clever, wondrous human; never lose that magic. Chella, you’re brave, funny and smart; don’t ever doubt yourself for a minute. You’ve both got this and by ‘this’ I mean life.

I love you both to the moon and back times infinity.

(Remember to avenge me should I have gone out in mysterious circumstances.)

Love,

Mum

This is an edited extract from Try Hard by Em Rusciano (Simon and Schuster, $32.99). Available now.