By EM RUSCIANO
This is it kids; our last outing for Season 1 of The Voice. Never fear, I will be turning my attention to other things that you can all get involved in, so stay tuned to this website for details.
The theme of last night’s show was THE JOURNEY. They took that word and bludgeoned us to our bloody, terrifying deaths with it. Did you even know that there were other words available to define the progress from one stage to another? I know, right?
(Cont. reading below the gallery)
For instance:
Adventure, campaign, expedition, jaunt, odyssey, outing, passage, peregrination, pilgrimage, promenade, quest, ramble, route, safari, sally, saunter, sojourn, transmigration, traverse, trek, trip, vagabondage (ha, ha bondage) venture and voyage…
The emotive male voice over told us that this episode was about sadness and happiness and colour co-ordination and highs and lows and most importantly… breasts. Sorry, my retinas are still dented from the impression Mahalia Barns’ bountiful norgs made through my television screen… But I digress, we will cover off Mahalia’s cleavage and her father’s catastrophic choice of boot/pant combo later.
Obviously I was in a state of suspended animation just WAITING to see what Seal would be wearing.
Would it be a suit made entirely of mermaid virgin hair with unicorn teeth rings? Dragon scale boots with a belt made of the finest Valerian steel? Or perhaps an all in one Lycra body suit painted to look EXACTLY like the red spinny chair thus allowing our great leader to fade into the leather like a fabulous chocolate chameleon?