'I will no longer be silenced on this disturbing Elf storyline.'

Elf is a movie that most of us have seen countless times.

The beloved 2003 Christmas movie stars Will Ferrell as Buddy, a human raised by Santa's elves who travels to New York to find his biological father (James Caan). The film was a massive commercial success, and over the years it has grown from a cult fave to a top-tier Christmas movie that's enjoyed by families every year.

But there's one storyline in this movie that has long plagued me. I'm talking about the 'love story' between Ferrell's Buddy and Zooey Deschanel as Jovie.

I know, I know, people love this film — but I must speak my truth!

This whole subplot isn't as innocent as you remember.

Watch the trailer for Elf. Post continues after video.

It begins with Buddy coming across Jovie decorating a Christmas tree, as he stands just staring at her. It's unnerving!

"Are you enjoying the view?" Jovie delivered, deadpanned.

After he compliments her decorating abilities, she asks, "Why are you messing with me?"

Buddy replies, "I'm not messing with you. It's nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture."

To this, Jovie simply shrugs and says, "I'm just trying to get through the holidays."

It is clear that Jovie, in fact, does not share Buddy's affinity for elf culture.

Buddy then chases Jovie around the store as she pleads, "Please stop talking to me."

Jovie is loving life! Image: New Line Cinema.

Ah yes, this is how most great love stories begin!

The next time Buddy crosses paths with Jovie, he's peeping on her in the shower after he follows her singing voice and sits beside her in the women's locker room.

"Get out!" she screams when she finds him. She later scolds him but forgives him when he tells her she has the "most beautiful [singing] voice in the whole wide world."

Buddy, who seems to have the mental age of a child, has to enlist the help of his stepbrother, Michael (also a child), to ask Jovie out on a date.

Run Jovie, run while there's still time! Image: New Line Cinema.

Michael tells Buddy to ask her "to go eat food" with him. Against the odds, she agrees, and they go look at Christmas trees together.

This is the first red flag: Buddy was the one who asked Jovie on a date, yet their entire date revolves around his interests.

Jovie has never expressed a passion for Christmas trees, in fact, she despises her holiday-themed place of work.

It's not until the end of the film that we see Jovie again, as she helps Buddy get Santa's sleigh flying by "singing loud for all to hear" to the tune of a rather jazz-core version of 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town.'

The movie ends with Jovie dressed in her own elf-inspired outfit, seemingly living with Pappa Elf, Buddy and a newborn baby in the Northpole.

How…. depressing.

No thanks! Image: New Line Cinema.

Like what?? I'm sorry, but for someone that hasn't expressed any interest in Christmas the whole film, why would she want this life?? Hard pass!

Buddy never even asks Jovie a single question about whether she likes Christmas which is giving straight-man-on-a-first-date vibes. No one is immune, not even an elf!

This might be the dream life for Buddy but why is he the only one that matters in the equation?

Christmas movies are notorious for valuing the male protagonist's motivations more, whether it's any of Tim Allen's girlfriends being forced to become Mrs Clause in Santa Claus or basically every man in Love Actually.

I know Elf is a light, family film, but the love story has always bugged me, and I won't stay silent anymore.

I will say it loud for all to hear!

You can stream Elf on Stan.

Feature image: New Line Cinema.