So, I read that Konmari book.
Yeah, yeah. I know. I was sucked in by the life-changing magic of getting rid of all my stuff.
For a moment in time, I was mesmerized by minimalism. Indoctrinated into her Japanese cleaning cult, I folded my socks just so. I thanked my bags. I bowed to my jumpers and I tossed my belongings into a heavy-duty-garbage-bag and stuffed them into the boot of the car.
I sipped green tea. I was zen. I was wearing the same Uniqlo jumper everyday in a homage to my new Japanese no-fuss life.
And now?
Umm…..now there is stuff again. Like a fad dieter who sheds weight by starving and then piles it all back on, the clutter has crept back in.
UNTIL NOW, friends.
Because I just read about another fad diet way to declutter your house. Minus the green tea (blech).
The Quarantine Process.
Hear how it works:
Yeah. That’s right. This de-cluttering is getting OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL.
It works like a customs-style screening process for your stuff. You just set up a mildly threatening quarantine area in your garage, in your hallway, in your driveway, or in your mind. A screening station.
And then to GET the item through the door, and into your everyday life, it needs to satisfy the demands of the very serious quarantine screening checklist. With pertinent questions like:
- How much did this thing cost?
- Are you replacing something you already own?
- Is it amazing?
- Are you sure you will use that?
- Will you REALLY?
- Did you buy it just because you were hungry, bored, lonely, hormonal, sad, happy or indifferent?
- How much do you need it?
So official.
So BOSS.
This is what clutter needs, the seriousness of a customs – style screening process.
Mia Freedman, Kate de Brito and I discuss whether clutter is the ultimate First World Problem. Post continues after video…
If it doesn’t pass the test, it’s not allowed in the house. You get to act like a powerhungry customs screening agent and take it back.
You could go the WHOLE hog and start saying things like “Schapelle, was it? Just bringing in a boogey board are ya?” and you could actually buy a customs style suit with a gold badge on the shoulder, but I’m afraid that if I did that, I’d have to ask myself the following questions:
- How much did this thing cost?
- Are you replacing something you already own?
- Is it amazing?
- Are you sure you will use that?
- Will you REALLY?
- Did you buy it just because you were hungry, bored, lonely, hormonal, sad, happy or indifferent?
- How much do you need it?
SHIT.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? IT’S AMAZING.
Because, let’s be real. Throwing away stuff is only the half of it. You have to stop it coming in in the first place.
(And big thanks to Carl Richards from the New York Times, who thought of it first because he probably failed #konmari too).
Listen to the full episode of Mamamia OutLoud here:
