'My best friend pretended like I didn't exist. Now I finally know why.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

Kirsty* and I worked at the same finance company and she was the best thing about my job.

We started around the same time, in similar roles, and within a few weeks, I knew we'd be friends forever. She was a bit of a mentor to me as she was a couple of years older, so I learned a lot from her. She was super smart and our desks were literally side by side, so we spent a lot of time together. I'd say she was the best thing about going to work five days a week.

And, when we started catching up outside of the office, I realised how kind she was too. We were more than just workmates, we became close friends. We had lunch together nearly every day, usually grabbing a sandwich and sitting in the local park.

It wasn't the easiest work environment, as there were a few toxic people there and cases of bullying around us. But we always had each other's backs. She was my best friend for two years and I felt really lucky to have her.

We had a couple of fun holidays together, just the two of us. She also joined me on a six-hour road trip when I was catching up with some cousins I hadn't seen in years. It was the kind of trip you'd only share with a very close friend, and that's what Kirsty was to me. So, I didn't expect things to change as quickly as they did.

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Kirsty was excellent at her job and definite "management material" compared to me – I wasn't quite cut out for a leadership role. So, she was promoted and moved from our shared role into a superior position; about two rungs above me on the corporate ladder. I was genuinely happy for her because I knew how hard she'd worked and how much she wanted it.

I bought her a card and flowers to say congratulations. But, almost overnight, she became someone else.

At first, it was little things. She stopped coming to lunch with me, saying she was too busy or had meetings. I thought that was fair enough; new role, new responsibilities. I understood.

Then the texts slowed down. She didn't answer mine unless it was work-related. When I did manage to catch her in person, she was polite but very business-like, as though I was just another colleague. One day, I walked into the kitchen and saw her chatting and laughing with the senior managers. These were people we used to roll our eyes about. I smiled and said hi, but she barely looked at me and carried on with her conversation.

And, when she was "too busy" to have lunch with me, I'd go to the park where we usually sat, and see her there with senior people. So she was making it clear she didn't want anything to do with me. I was absolutely gutted. I really didn't expect her to dump me like this.

I kept trying, asking if she wanted to grab a coffee or just go for a walk like we used to. But she always had an excuse. I thought maybe I'd done something wrong. Maybe I'd upset her somehow. So I asked, sending a message saying I missed her, and if I'd done something, could she please let me know.

She replied two days later.

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She basically said she was sorry but didn't think it was a "good look" to be hanging out with the people she was managing, and she wanted to be careful about her image at work now.

I couldn't believe it! She had turned into a snob so quickly. Suddenly, I wasn't good enough for her. This was a woman I cooked for when she was recovering from surgery and let her cry on my shoulder when her boyfriend left her. And now I just wasn't useful to her anymore.

It really broke my heart a little. A work promotion had somehow made our two-year friendship disappear like it meant nothing.

It's been a few months now. We're still in the same company, but we barely speak. She walks past me in the hallway like I'm invisible. I'm not angry anymore. I was, for a while. But now I just feel sad. Sad that I misjudged someone so completely. Sad that I cared more about our friendship than she did.

I've definitely learned some vital lessons from this experience though. Some people don't change when they get power, they just show you who they really were all along.

Only you were too blinded by them to notice at the time. So, as much as it hurts, I'd rather know than keep pretending the friendship was real.

*Names have been changed to protect identities.

Feature Image: Getty. (Stock image for illustrative purposes)