'I left tampons in for days so my baby could have nappies. Then someone gave me this bag.'

This story includes descriptions of domestic violence that may be distressing to some readers.

Three months after becoming a new mum, Meaghan found herself with no money, no confidence and no hope.

Fleeing a violent relationship, she was left holding her newborn and nothing else.

Putting her son's safety and health first, her needs weren't even a thought. 

This meant going without the essentials we all take for granted. Like period products.

Watch: Domestic and family violence survivors talk about domestic violence. Post continues after video.

"Restarting all over again, not having a career, being a full-time mum… was extremely hard," Meaghan says.

"I would have to choose (between nappies and pads).

"I'd leave tampons in… I'm sitting in pads for so long, so my son had nappies.

"Which is so wrong. But my children are a priority."

The most cost-effective way to stay clean was to shower more, so she wouldn't have to buy pads.

Another woman, *Sammy, has spoken of the same experience. 

Dignity falls to the bottom of the priority list when you don't know where your next dollar is coming from.

"There have been times in my life where having to choose between pads or a bus ticket has been a real thing," she says.

These stories aren't unique.

In Australia, one in five women experience period poverty.

Women escaping domestic violence, mums and teenagers living in extreme poverty.

They use socks and newspapers. They cut pads in half. Or go without. 

It was reading about this jarring, and preventable reality, in a Mamamia article in 2015, that prompted Rochelle Courtenay to do something about it. 

Rochelle went on to create Share the Dignity – a charity fighting for menstrual equity – which has provided 5.6 million period packets to 3500 charities around Australia.

Every November, Share the Dignity calls for donations of bags filled with items to restore dignity to women and girls escaping abuse or experiencing homelessness at Christmas.

The people behind It's in the Bag, helping women and girls who are survivors of domestic violence. Image: Supplied.

Meaghan and her newborn son received one of those bags in 2020.

She says it saved her life, by encouraging her to "keep pushing through."

With black eyes and a swollen face, Meaghan broke down in tears at a local Salvation Army, when she was handed the bag from Share the Dignity.

Inside were nappies, deodorant, shampoo, pads, and two items she has kept for five years; a handwritten note and a soft bunny for her son, which is now used by her daughter.

"Going through DV broke me as a person," she tells Another Bloody Podcast.

"I lost my teeth, I was choked. I had bruises everywhere. My confidence was gone.

"Having that bag made me feel like someone cared about me, and that's all that I ever wanted."

When asked what she would say to the person who packed it, Meaghan replied, "You saved my life. You gave me confidence, you made me feel valued, you made me feel like I wasn't alone."

This year, It's in the Bag aims to collect 150,000 donations – to meet the huge increase in requests from charity partners.

It's fulfilling work gifting essentials to women who would otherwise receive nothing at Christmas – but Rochelle says they can't keep up with demand. 

"It's devastating to know that for every bag donated, there's another woman we can't reach," Rochelle explains.

Five years ago, Rochelle got off the phone with an interstate health unit and started crying. The charity was upset they only received half of their requested donations.

"I didn't realise people relied on us so desperately," she says. "We thought this is just something nice to have – but this has become an Australia need." 

Meaghan's story is just a drop in the ocean.

"There's a thousand stories like that," Rochelle says. 

"What women go through leaving those situations – they don't have money to buy pads or a toothbrush. They're left with nothing.

"But it's so much more than the things in the bag. It represents hope, it says 'I've got you', when they feel like nobody does."

Miranda is another mum who received an It's in the Bag donation after escaping her partner on her fourth desperate attempt ten years ago.

Miranda is also a domestic violence survivor who received an It's In The Bag from Share The Dignity. Image: Supplied.

She still has the bag and her 18-year-old daughter remembers the smell of a face mask in the tote more than a decade later.

"I was blown away. I had my two kids, and not much of anything else," she tells Share the Dignity about receiving the gift.

"For such a dark time in my life, to know someone had gone out of their way to do something for me… at a time I was having to deal with so much that was not happy, not bright… this little ray of hope was amazing."

For *Amy, it was the shampoo that made her feel worthy.

While trapped in an abusive relationship, Amy didn't wash her hair for two years because the shower wasn't a safe place. 

"If I had gotten into the shower without telling him or tried to wash my hair, he would break through the locked door and rip the shower screens off."

When Amy sought refuge, a bag of toiletries was waiting for her.

"The impact that he had on me and my daughter mentally and emotionally – you can't reverse that... The bag restores your faith in humanity... your dignity and self-worth."

This Christmas, instead of office gifts, or those extra Kmart decorations, put together an It's in the Bag – for a family, teen or mum and bub. 

Collection points will be open at all Bunnings Warehouse stores nationwide from November 14–30.

The items inside don't need to be extravagant. Some of the most valuable gifts cost next to nothing – such as hair ties, a Chapstick or a thoughtful card.

"You can't change the world, but you can change the world for somebody with that bag," Rochelle says.

*Names have been changed due to privacy.

If this has raised any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service.

Mamamia is a charity partner of RizeUp Australia, a national organisation that helps women, children and families move on after the devastation of domestic and family violence. Their mission is to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most. If you would like to support their mission you can donate here.

Feature image: Supplied.