Eleni left her abusive husband. Four years later, she was in prison.

Eleni didn't realise she was stuck in an abusive relationship until his grasp on her life was so tight she couldn't breathe. It's a reality many of us find hard to comprehend.

In the last eight years of her 21-year marriage, her world shrank, and her willpower was ground away at the hands of her husband. He controlled who she spoke to, where she went, who she saw.

"Then there was the hitting walls and throwing things," she told Mamamia. "I thought that was normal."

The toxicity leeched into her psyche, making her believe everything was her fault; that she wasn't a good wife or mother. 

"If I am not compliant with what is being said to me, then I won't be of value, so I tried harder and harder not to rock the boat," she said, of how she felt at the time.

Listen: Why Australia's prison system is stacked against women. Post continues below.

Eventually, Eleni bravely reached out for help and was diagnosed with severe clinical depression. In 2007, she finally separated from her husband and they attended counselling.

During one of the sessions, her ex confirmed her worst fears. When asked what he liked about life with Eleni, he said he loved her for her housework, and for sex.

It turned her brain against her, confirming an unconscious internal bias that she was worthless. That she didn't matter. That every horrible thing he'd told her must be true. Eleni was heart-broken and desperate for validation, to feel like she mattered.

It was then that she made her biggest mistake, committing a crime.

While Eleni has worked hard to put the details of her crime behind her, and did not want to delve too deeply into the specifics, it's the circumstances that led her to offend that she wants to shine a light on.

There are many other women like Eleni who find themselves in custody, for whom a trail of abuse paved the pathway there.

It took four years for the law to catch up with Eleni, but every day she lived in fear that the police would find out. When she eventually landed in prison, she was faced with an experience that only compounded her trauma, leaving her with scars that took years to unpack.

She's not alone in her story.

In just one year, the number of female prisoners rose by eight per cent, with many entering the system for the first time. But the question no one is asking is: why? 

It's more nuanced than simply more women turning to crime, criminal defence specialist and lawyer Lauren Cassimatis told Mamamia. 

More often than not, women in prison aren't hardened criminals — they're survivors. In fact, domestic violence, financial desperation, coercion and systemic failures push many women to break.

She says many women aren't choosing violence, they simply snap. 

Watch: Can you spot the red flags of domestic violence? Post continues below.

The prison experience.

Eleni was recommended for non-custodial sentences to serve her time in the community. However, everything changed at the last minute. At her lowest, Eleni was sent to prison for 11 months — a decision that only broke her further.

"I plead guilty. I took full responsibility for my actions. There was an alternative to incarceration," she said. "There is no correction by placing women with trauma in a place where more trauma is perpetuated."

She spent time in the mental health section of Silverwater Correctional Complex in a cell with lights on 24/7 and cameras on the mattress, toilet and floor.

"That in itself, knowing that I was being watched having a shower and going to the toilet, was traumatic," she said. "The whole time you're reliving your trauma by hearing other women's stories.

"You're not spoken to in a nice way by many of the officers. There's nothing therapeutic or corrective about being in prison."

One comment from a prison officer stuck with her, 10 years on.

"It was my first day in that new prison, and she tapped me on the shoulder and she said, 'Hey, there's a fine line between blue and green. Any one of us can be on the other side of the fence'," Eleni said.

"It's so true. The women in there were mothers, daughters, grandmothers — it can be anybody."

Even you.

Criminal defence lawyer Lauren Cassimatis says there are so many misconceptions about why women turn to crime. Image: Supplied.

Behind every crime is a story.

Lauren knows this more than anybody. She's worked with countless women who have found themselves in trouble with the law.

"The majority of offenders don't commit crimes because they're evil or they're malicious. It's coming from a place of darkness in their lives," she told Mamamia.

It could be childhood trauma, alcoholism or drug use in the family, domestic violence or personal issues that have led to destructive behaviours. 

"We can't just write off offenders as devious, manipulative, junkies or crazy, and 'let's just sweep it under the carpet,'" Lauren said.

There's one case Lauren will never forget: a mum of three who was the victim of domestic violence by her husband.

"She worked up the courage to move them into another home and she didn't want to disrupt their schooling," Lauren said. "She was determined to continue funding their schooling and put food in their mouths and a roof over their head.

"There was this ongoing message in her head that she'd got from her husband, that she's not worthy, and she's useless, and she's hopeless, and she'll never achieve. She was driven by this.

"So, she actually started to fudge the books at work and start to give herself extra money. And yet, her employer was so good to her and they had such a great relationship, that she felt sick that she was doing this."

The stress of it all led to her having a stroke which left her permanently paralysed and wheelchair-bound. Wracked with guilt, the woman came clean to her boss.

Understandably, they reported her to the police and she was charged and facing jail time. However, given her situation and history, the judge determined she was better off on a community corrections order. Now, she dedicates her time to volunteer work for other women leaving prison.

Not everyone gets that same chance.

The problem with remand.

On any one day in NSW prisons, 65 per cent of the women there are on remand, meaning they haven't been convicted of any crime.

"When those women do get their sentence hearing, more than half of those on remand are not given a custodial sentence," Eleni said.

"They could've been incarcerated on remand anywhere from one week to 12 months and when they get to sentencing, more than half are not given a custodial sentence, so why are they sent there in the first place? 

"They could've gotten help or served time in the community with more support."

It costs Australian taxpayers about $153,895 per year to keep someone in prison.

"Could you imagine if even half of that was spent on services to get the support people need in the community," Eleni said.

Today, Eleni supports women transitioning out of custody and back into the community. The trauma of prison lasts long beyond the walls of the complex.

"Once you've been incarcerated, it's so shameful to talk about, that it adds to the trauma," Eleni said. Then there are the struggles of finding employment and housing with a criminal record.

Lauren added: "They're dealing with punishment even before the courts punish them, including financial punishment, economic punishment, emotional punishment, and the shame, and the reputational damage.

"So, once they eventually get that conviction, not knowing what's going to happen to them post-conviction is very stressful and scary, especially for the women that end up in jail — and jail is a whole other world."

So, what's the solution?

"One of the common reasons that women end up in the justice system is they are victims of domestic violence," she said. "Focusing on prevention in the first place will help stop the cycle of re-offending."

Lauren acknowledged the court's concerns about whether people are going to re-offend and whether they're a risk to society.

"But let's think about how rehabilitation can actually support that agenda and that mission rather than jail, which often exacerbates issues and just creates a cycle where people are offending again and sometimes more seriously. That's what's going to hinder the community's safety and wellbeing."

Eleni called on people to see the human being behind the offence. 

"It's up to the community to educate themselves and to start changing attitudes and to start offering support because that's how lives change. If you put yourself in that situation, how would you want people to treat you?"

And that's the question we all need to ask ourselves.

Feature image: Getty.