What do stay-at-home mothers share in common with the likes of Julian Assange and Aung San Suu Kyi? Just like me, they have endured time in exile.
As a stay-at-home mother of three young children, I sometimes feel like I've been sentenced to house arrest. It can be lonely and isolating and right now it seems interminable. Aung San Suu Kyi was under house arrest in Burma for more than a decade and the duration of Julian Assange's exile is anyone's guess, but I bet he isn’t prepared for years of monotony. I am sure that it is peaceful at the Ecuadorian Embassy and to be honest, the mere thought of being arrested if I step out my front door is just a wee bit exciting to me right now. At least it would be something out of the ordinary.
When I was pregnant with my first child I was “warned” about the restrictive elements of motherhood. "Your life will never be the same" people said, and "You'll never be spontaneous again.” Surely they were exaggerating, I thought, as I fantasised about what motherhood would look like for me: leisurely strolls with my baby; mums and bubs movie sessions, baby-chinos at the cafe and lunch dates with my friends. Fast forward three years and life couldn't be further from this fantasy.
When my third child was born and my eldest had not yet turned three, people made polite comments such as "Oh aren't you brave" and, "You must be a super mum". Read, "Are you out of your mind? You must be crazy!” I confess that I chose to have three kids and I also chose to have them quickly. My logic was this: I was already knee-deep in nappies and vomit, and a sleep deficit that had been lingering for years. I may as well add another to the clan and then call it stumps. I subscribed to the theory that having them close together would mean short-term pain but ultimately long-term gain.
The downside to my theory is that for almost four years I’ve been housebound for a large part of every day. Right now I am in the thick of it. My baby has a morning and afternoon sleep and my toddler has a sleep in the middle of the day. It’s widely known that children thrive on routine and repetition. I’ve learned that in order to manage multiple children, routines matter and sticking to them has an enormous impact on surviving the day. And my husband wonders why I do so much online shopping? If you can’t get to the shops, let the shops comes to you!
