'I thought we were in the honeymoon phase. Then my husband blindsided me.'

When Hugh* left Australia to work overseas, he met Lila*. Almost immediately, their chemistry was undeniable.

"There was an immediate physical attraction," Lila told Mamamia. "His attitude was intriguing, and he was very polite," she said.

Lila and Hugh's friendship soon turned romantic. And when Hugh returned to Australia, the couple made it work long-distance for a while, until Lila was able to join him.

Watch: How to support someone going through a separation or divorce. Post continues after video.

"I moved in with him, and we were living together for years until we actually got married," she said.

Right before Hugh was to embark on another year-long overseas work stint, he told Lila of his intention to marry her.

"When I return, I'm going to buy you a ring," he said.

12 months later, true to his word, Hugh came back with a ring already in his pocket, and got down on one knee. It was a resounding yes from Lila. 

But when COVID hit, like so many, their plans were delayed.

"We just let the time pass. It was probably a couple of years until we actually got married," Lila said.

Eventually, they wed in an intimate ceremony. 

At first, their marriage was great. The pair were more in love than ever, and had decided to move overseas.

Lila was halfway through the long visa process when Hugh would turn her world upside down.

"All of a sudden, he just snapped," she said.

"I remember all of a sudden he just literally snapped and said that 'I was not committed' or that 'I was not making an effort'."

In the next breath, he asked for a divorce. Less than six months into their marriage.

"I was totally blindsided, I thought we were still in the honeymoon phase. I know I was, and had so many plans," Lila said.

Lila knew that Hugh was frustrated with the moving process, and that they were in each other's space a lot while both working and living together. But she never expected that these minor issues would end the relationship entirely.

"It really broke me. I was just in shock. I couldn't believe it. I don't even think I was trying to argue it… I was just in disbelief," she recalled.

Lila was left "crying for days".

"We were still living in the same house, but I was just totally heartbroken," she said. "At one point he said something to me like, 'I'm sorry that you feel so bad', that it was affecting me so much, and I was just in disbelief, like how could it not?"

Still, she tried her best to move on, and began looking for her own apartment. Then, right as Lila was about to pack her things and go, Hugh stopped her.

"He told me that he didn't want me to move out, and that he wanted to try to solve our problems," she said.

He suggested couple's counselling.

"He seemed to be genuinely sorry and genuinely reconsidering things," Lila explained. 

So, they started joint counselling. But Lila knew Hugh's heart wasn't in it.

"I immediately noticed that he was not liking it," she said. "When we would come out, he would be very angry at me, almost like he was dragging everything from there out, and being angry about whatever was said inside the room."

They made it through four or five sessions before Hugh called it quits, right when Lila thought they were beginning to make strides.

"I felt that we were just starting to get into a good communication dynamic with our therapist," she said. "And then he said to me, 'I'm not going anymore because it's not working'. I was disappointed, but I was not surprised."

Despite therapy no longer on the table, it seemed that Hugh had a "change in attitude."

"I felt that he was putting in the effort," she said.

In that time, Lila's visa finally got approved. Suddenly, they were packing up and moving overseas.

While Lila continued to work remotely for their first few months overseas, Hugh decided to take some time off. And it was "driving him insane".

It took a toll on their relationship.

"We just started arguing over anything, Just being the two of us in the house all day. I was busy, but he wasn't," she said.

So, when a job opportunity opened up on the other side of the country, Hugh jumped at the chance.

"He went over there for a year, and left me by myself in this new country where I didn't know anybody, where I had no family, where I had no contacts. That was really hard for me. That entire year I felt really lonely," Lila said.

During this time, Lila had finished up with her remote job and was struggling to find local work.

Lila confided in Hugh about her concerns.

"I told him, 'Look, I just feel like sh**. I'm feeling really lonely. I need you to come home more often because you haven't come home at all in almost a year," she said.

Her husband resigned and returned to Lila. But with so much spare time, they began bickering again "over petty things".

When Hugh refused to join Lila on a trip to her home country for her dad's birthday, she "lost faith in everything" and embarked on the journey by herself.

It was when visiting her family that she had an epiphany that would end her marriage for good. 

"My dad was a little bit sick," she said. "He was going to the doctors and, when they finally found what it was, it was a pretty tough diagnosis.

"I think that pushed me over the edge. It made me re-evaluate my priorities. I just thought, 'What am I doing here with this person in a place where I'm not happy anymore?"

Lila returned home and told Hugh they needed to talk.

"I told him, 'This is just unsustainable. What's going on, I need you to tell me what's going on?'" Lila recalled.

"And he said, 'I just think we need to get a divorce'."

Lila agreed.

"I said, 'I just don't see this going anywhere. I'd rather go back home to spend whatever time I can with my dad, than stay here and then regret it later over a place that doesn't make me happy anymore'."

While the separation has been difficult, Lila acknowledges the relief that has accompanied her decision.

"I compare it a lot to that time when we were just six months married and how painful it was. Right now, I'm nowhere near that. I feel that I'm just done, there's no other way. Even though there have been difficult days, it's not painful anymore," she said.

"The decision to leave or stay is really, really hard, but my take is that if you're already considering leaving, it's because deep down you know it's the right decision for you."

*All names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Feature Image: Getty (Stock image for illustrative purposes only).