Dita Von Teese was 22 when Playboy made a mistake. It turned into a lifelong career.

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The Queen of Burlesque has built her empire on mystery, control, and the art of never revealing too much.

But in a candid conversation on Mamamia's No Filter podcast, Dita Von Teese offered rare glimpses behind the carefully curated facade.

When host Kate Langbroek brought up the infamous sex tapes that launched careers for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, Von Teese's response was characteristically playful yet pointed: "Yeah, I keep all my sex tapes under lock. I might. But guess what? Nobody's gonna see it."

It's a moment that perfectly captures Von Teese's approach to fame and privacy — she's in complete control of her narrative, deciding exactly what the world gets to see and when.

At 53, the performer has spent over three decades perfecting this balance, transforming from Heather Sweet, a small-town Michigan ballet student, into a global icon who has redefined burlesque for the modern era.

Listen to No Filter: Dita Von Teese's Life as a Showgirl. Post continues below.

The accidental icon.

What's remarkable about Von Teese's journey is how unplanned it all was. The name that made her famous? A complete accident.

When Playboy insisted she needed a surname beyond just "Dita," she found "von Treece" in a phone book. The magazine misprinted it as "Von Teese," and despite her attempts to correct it, the mistake stuck.

"I was like, 22 years old. I didn't know I was so young," she reflected.

"I also felt that at that time I was just doing something fun... I did not anticipate that it was going to be a lifelong career, that I was going to be trademarking the name."

This serendipitous beginning set the tone for a career built on embracing the unexpected while maintaining fierce control over her image and boundaries.

The power of privacy.

Perhaps nowhere is Von Teese's commitment to privacy more evident than in her approach to relationships.

25 years after her high-profile marriage to Marilyn Manson ended, she still bristles at being asked about it.

"It becomes like a part of my identity that I don't think is fair," she explained, noting how the relationship overshadows her decades of work and other relationships.

"Nobody wants to talk about their boyfriend from 25 years ago," she pointed out, highlighting the absurdity of how women in the public eye are expected to endlessly rehash their romantic past.

This frustration extends to other invasive questions she's faced throughout her career. She recalls a journalist who recently apologised for hammering her about not having children in an interview a decade earlier.

"I keep waiting, wondering when people are going to think realise it's wrong to ask me about, like, the demise of a marriage," she said.

Dita Von Teese is bringing new shows to Australia. Image: @fiestabanphoto.

Redefining sexuality and the male gaze.

One of the most fascinating aspects of Von Teese's career is how she's managed to create work that's undeniably sexy yet not explicitly sexual — and crucially, not designed for the male gaze.

"It is very it's not like, like sexy under the male gaze," she explained, noting her large queer audience and female fanbase.

This distinction becomes clear when she describes the rare occasions she performs for predominantly male audiences.

"I was like, Oh, wow, I forgot about this ... we'll shift into sexy for men, you know," she recalled of a recent performance at a Hong Kong private members' club.

The energy shift reminded her of her early days in strip clubs in the 1990s — a different kind of performance entirely.

The art of reinvention.

At 53, Von Teese continues to evolve her artistry, recently incorporating magic into her shows. Her new production, coming to Australia next year, flips traditional magic tropes on their head.

"We've seen the male magician doing this to the show girl, but have we seen a woman doing this to the show boy?" she asked, describing her approach to reimagining classic illusions.

This constant reinvention has been key to her longevity. Rather than accepting the industry's ageist expectations, she's challenged them head-on.

"I feel like it's kind of my job to be up there going, here I am at 50. I'm wearing a g-string and pasties. Don't be afraid," she said.

For all the fantasy she creates on stage, Von Teese's personal life has long been characterised by control, not chaos. At 18, when she began stripping, she was already financially independent. She tells the story matter-of-factly: working from age 12, paying for her own schoolbooks, managing her own credit cards.

So, when family questioned her choices, she met it with logic: If you don't support me, you also don't get to object.

She is candid about her past — the rave culture, the experimentation, the wildness, but she refuses narratives that cast her as either victim or a cautionary tale.

"I was responsible," she said.

"I was having fun, but I wasn't on a bad path."

Her new production, coming to Australia next year. Image: @fiestabanphoto.

The discipline behind the fantasy.

What emerges most clearly from the conversation is Von Teese's incredible discipline and intentionality.

Every aspect of her presentation — from her signature red lipstick to her elaborate costumes — is carefully considered.

Even her Halloween costume is telling: she dresses as a "normal" person, complete with blonde wig and beige makeup, conducting what she calls "a psychological experiment" to observe how differently she's treated.

This attention to detail extends to her business practices. Unlike many artists who simply copy her aesthetic, Von Teese emphasises collaboration and credit. When Taylor Swift approached her for a music video collaboration, it was the respect and genuine partnership that impressed her most.

Looking forward.

As Von Teese prepares to bring her new show to Australia, she remains focused on pushing boundaries and challenging expectations. Her autobiography, when it eventually comes, will be worth the wait.

She's saving it until she feels "very liberated and free to say everything I want to say."

Until then, she continues to live by her own rules, maintaining the mystery that has made her an icon while slowly, selectively, revealing the thoughtful artist behind the fantasy.

In a world of oversharing, Dita Von Teese's greatest power might just be knowing exactly what to keep to herself.

Feature image: Getty.