
In my experience as a couples therapist and love coach, there are several things that can happen in a relationship that can signify that it is doomed, although actually they all come under one heading: one or both partners loses focus on the connection between them and allow something or someone to intervene.
The relationship between them becomes increasingly ‘unconscious’ as they get caught up in separate worlds instead of being in one connected and conscious world.
The Affair
Whilst an affair is the most classic sign that the connection between the two is weak and a third party has come between them, an affair doesn’t mean that it’s inevitable that the relationship is going to shrivel and die, as many of my clients will testify.
It is possible that an affair is one partner trying to say that they are unhappy and once their partner realises that, they are willing and ready to re-engage. With professional help and by following techniques taught in couples counselling , even relationships which have reached a disastrous point can be rescued and recovered, and couples can reignite the flame between them.
Sexual Psychiatrist explains to Mia Freedman exactly why it is that happy people cheat, on No Filter. Post continues after audio.
Addictions
Addictions can also be a cry that means that the partner is not happy and is not being heard. Rather than initiate a conversation, or being unable to get their partner to acknowledge and address the problem, a partner might start to drink or use drugs, or gamble or go shopping to ‘act out’ their unhappiness.