A mum is not pleased with comments from a hospital worker after her daughter needed stitches.

Warning: This post contains references to domestic violence and may be triggering to some readers. 

“I bet he likes you” said the well-meaning man at the hospital when he saw the bruises and the cuts.

“I bet he likes you” when he hit you over the head with a metal tea pot.

“I bet he likes you” when he pulled your hair.

“I bet he likes you.”

It’s a statement loaded with mixed messages. One that we’ve all heard at some stage. Boys pinch and punch little girls when they “like them”. Don’t they? But where’s the line? Do men beat women when they like them too? When do these messages start? When should we put a stop to it?

These are the types of generalisations that one mother wants to drive home as unacceptable.

When Merritt Smith’s four-year old daughter was hurt by another child at pre-school, she rushed her to hospital for treatment. Shocked, scared and confused, four-year old Joni was left even further perplexed by the words of the administration clerk.

“I bet he likes you.”

The words, so loaded with meaning, prompted Merritt to address the hospital worker in a public Facebook post where she called for the language surrounding violence to change – especially starting at such a young age.

Merritt, from Columbus, Ohio's words have resonated so strongly with families throughout the world that her post has now been shared over 32,000 times.

She writes: “Dear man at the registration desk at Children's hospital, I'm positive that you didn't think that statement through. As soon as I heard it I knew that is where it begins. That statement is where the idea that hurting is flirting begins to set a tone for what is acceptable behaviour.”

“I will not allow that message to be okay. I will not allow it to be louder than 'That's not how we show we like each other.' At that desk you are in a position of influence, whether you realise it or not. You thought you were making the moment lighter. It is time to take responsibility for the messages we as a society give our children," her message continues.

Merritt has said that she knows the hospital worker was being kind but that his words are a reflection of the society we live in and the language we use. It sends a powerful message about how we first introduce the concept of what’s acceptable behaviour in terms of violence. It reminds us all of the times we have heard those words ourselves.

"He's only doing it because he likes you."

In a second post she wrote: “ Pulling hair is not affection either. Respecting each other’s bodies. Like me that way. Tell me you like me. Draw me a picture. Write me a letter, a poem...but Do Not confuse aggression with affection. I want to be clear that my intensity on this is directed at Adults. We will make the difference. It's time to be conscious Adults leading the way.”

The post prompted a discussion, one woman writing: “My biggest concern is that it shows her that violence means affection so it's okay. I have to admit this confused me for years. Ever since Gilbert Blythe pulled Anne's braids and said "carrots". Women have to be taught that no matter what the intent, the behaviour is not okay.”

Another woman wrote that her daughter had been hit by a boy recently too, the boy telling her he was playing “the slapping game.”

This message that the language surrounding male violence against women should be engaged at a younger level is one that Australian of the Year Rosie Batty has been campaigning for in Australian schools.

Rosie, whose son Luke was killed last year by his father at a cricketing practise ground in Victoria, has called for family violence prevention to be taught in every Australian school as early as kindergarten.

Merritt's post is a further example of how this conversation needs to change. She said that she wants to “change old scripts.”

“I am humbled and grateful that conversations, near and far, are being had. I know we can change the messages that guide our children as they learn to interact with one another, develop conflict resolution skills, choose empathy and stand strong in their sense of self," Merritt said.

WATCH the video below to see how boys react when they're asked to hit a girl. Post continues after video...

Merritt’s post has been praised widely, but some commentators have blamed the four-year old boy who hurt Joni wondering where he had learned “such violence.” Merritt said that she supported the boy’s family and that said that she in no way blamed the boy who hurt her daughter.

“Each of us has had a moment when our child made a poor choice. In that moment we each hope there are people to support us rather than judge us," she said about the way adults convey themselves, not children.

Her post in full:

“I bet he likes you."

Dear man at the registration desk at Children's hospital, I'm positive that you didn't think that statement through. As soon as I heard it I knew that is where it begins. That statement is where the idea that hurting is flirting begins to set a tone for what is acceptable behaviour. My four year old knows "That's not how we show we like someone. That was not a good choice."

In that moment, hurt and in a new place, worried about perhaps getting a shot or stitches you were a person we needed to help us and your words of comfort conveyed a message that someone who likes you might hurt you. No. I will not allow that message to be okay. I will not allow it to be louder than "That's not how we show we like each other." At that desk you are in a position of influence, whether you realise it or not. You thought you were making the moment lighter. It is time to take responsibility for the messages we as a society give our children. Do Not tell my 4 year old who needs stitches from a boy at school hitting her "I bet he likes you." NO.

What do you think about the message Merritt Smith is sending?

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