'I was 19 and pregnant when I joined Tinder. Then I met Max.’

Alyssa Jane was just 19 when she fell – unexpectedly – pregnant. She'd been with her partner for almost four years, but 17 weeks into the pregnancy, he decided it was all too hard. Without looking back, he packed up his things and left. 

"I was 19 and single and I'm going to be a mum," says Alyssa. "And my best friend at the time said, 'you should probably jump on a dating site."

At first, Alyssa thought the idea was crazy. 

"But then she said, 'when are you going to get a chance to date after having a baby?' , and I thought, 'yeah, good point'."

Watch: Mamamia Out Loud discuss dating apps. Article continues after the video.

"I'd hit rock bottom. There was nowhere else to go except up, so I was willing to try anything."

Alyssa signed up to Tinder, and was upfront about her pregnancy, even including a photo that revealed her bump. 

Her first two dates went well, the guys were nice, but the connection wasn't there. Then, at 25 weeks pregnant, she met Max. 

"We just clicked so well. He didn't seem to mind that I was pregnant, which I thought was really weird."

The date went well, and 25-year-old Max asked her out on a second date. And then a third. 

"We were an instant family."

Just before their fourth date, Alyssa had arranged to collect Max from the airport after a work trip. That morning, she went for her usual prenatal check up – turned out her waters had broken. 

"I was in early labour, earlier than expected, because I was only 35 weeks pregnant."

She sent Max a text to apologise and explain why she wouldn't be there. But instead of catching an Uber home, Max headed directly for the hospital. 

"I was very nervous. I'm not really sure how I felt about it, because we hadn't discussed whether he would be there or not.

"I did think, 'Oh my gosh, if this doesn't work out I'm forever going to remember this random Tinder guy at my son's birth."

Despite her caution, Alyssa, Max and baby Ollie fell into the easy rhythm of what Alyssa describes as "an instant family". 

Alyssa says she and Max became an "instant family" when Ollie was born. Image: Instagram/@Alyssajane01

"I did have a good feeling about it, but I was also still a bit cautious. I was like, I don't want him calling you Dad … because I didn't want my son to grow up loving this person and then him leaving as well."

But right from the word go, there was no mistaking Max's commitment to both Alyssa and Ollie. 

"I was just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and just be brave and not self-sabotage because I was scared he'd leave."

But Max didn't leave. Instead, when Ollie was seven months old, the couple moved in together. One month later, they decided to start trying for another baby.

"We fell pregnant straight away. When I was 11 weeks pregnant with Autumn, Max proposed on our one year anniversary, and we're set to get married in February next year."

An unexpected discovery. 

Ollie was two when Alyssa first noticed he was tired all the time. At first she put it down to a growth spurt. Soon though, she noticed his personality start to change. 

"Not wanting to play, not wanting to do any of his usual activities and then, other symptoms would appear."

Such as being extremely thirsty, drinking up to 16 sippy cups of water per day. 

"And then came the tantrums and the mood swings. He couldn't stop eating, but then he was losing heaps of weight. He became so scrawny in his face, and his eyeballs started sinking into his head."

Because the symptoms crept up slowly, Alyssa didn't put everything together at first. Eventually, she made a doctor's appointment, but after speaking with her mother-in-law decided to take him to emergency. That decision saved his life. 

Ollie was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, and is currently using an insulin pump that has to be activated every time he eats.

"As a toddler, obviously, you just want to eat the second you're hungry. So it's really hard to manage his levels. 

"I'm so grateful for the technology that we have today and that he does have a pump "

Alyssa is now urging other parents to keep an eye out for the 'Four Ts' – Thinner, Toilet, Tired and Thirsty – and take quick action, so they don't "make their kids suffer like I did."

The couple are planning to get married next year. Image: Instagram/@Alyssajane01

With Ollie's health now stable, the family of four are set to move into their first house, with Alyssa and Max planning their wedding next February. 

"First the wedding, and then after the wedding, we want one more baby. I think it's all I can do."

Feature image: Instagram/@alyssajane01

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