'I want to leave my relationship, I just can't afford to.'

Tina* met her partner, Jon* almost 15 years ago in an international internet chat room. It turned out, they lived just 10 minutes apart. And when they met, sparks flew. 

"Having come out of a marriage at 23, where I married at 21 years of age, it was like an awakening in me," Tina told Mamamia. "All the things I'd hidden from my marriage sexually woke up.  Not that it was my husband's fault.  I had just married young and had limited experience."

After a couple of years, Tina and Jon decided to move in together.

Watch: First-time marriages in the 40s and 50s are on the rise. Post continues below.

"My then primary school-aged children had become accustomed to him being around a lot more, so it seemed like a natural progression."

At first, creating a harmonious blended family was difficult. At times, the kids objected to another man being involved in their lives. But eventually, the family got onto the same page, and everything just worked. 

Four years ago, though, things changed. Jon suffered two strokes, leaving him with physical struggles that, ultimately, impacted his personality too. The latter had a ripple effect, and over time, Tina lost all romantic feelings towards him. 

More than once, she considered leaving the relationship. Financially, though, it just didn't make sense. 

"We both have a great superannuation balance, and I've accumulated some great savings over the last 14 years," she said.

"If I was to leave, I'd probably have to rent for the rest of my life."

Combining their wealth means they'll be able to purchase a new home when the kids move out, and still have some super to live off.

When she considered the fact that Jon supports her financially and emotionally, Tina made the decision to stick it out, despite there being no intimacy in the relationship.

"He promised to contribute more, such as pay for the housekeeper, get a gardener in to do the lawns.

"We still have a close relationship in terms of being able to discuss problems I'm having and alike, but that's where it ends.  We're no longer physical with each other."

While Jon knows the relationship is not the same as it once was, Tina says he's not aware of the platonic extent to which she views their union. 

"My long-term plan is to move regionally in the next two to three years, closer to the beach, and run my business a couple of days a week until I'm ready to sign off and travel around Australia. 

"Hopefully, I'll become a grandmother in the next five years and dote on my grandkids."

According to solicitor and founder of Your Divorce, Geoff Ebert, there's been an increase in unhappy couples remaining under the same roof for financial reasons, particularly since Covid.

"The cost of living is a major factor, and when you include vastly increased rental costs, the value of properties rising exponentially, day-to-day living expenses rising, and the expense of children such as childcare rising, it is very difficult to turn one household into two," Ebert said.

Even so, Ebert says remaining in a relationship purely for monetary reasons can be challenging. 

"It is difficult to find positives out of remaining in a marriage for financial reasons," he explained. "On the face of it, the ongoing care of any children by both parents could be seen as a positive, however, the underlying stress and tension usually reflects in the co-parenting and then onto the children. 

"Another potential positive is that the current standard of living can be relatively maintained."

 Unfortunately though, that doesn't mean the issues will go away, and may escalate over time — something that has the potential to be very dangerous in abusive relationships.

"There are always reasons as to the decision to separate, and conflict and violence is a common thread. The issue of this continuing where parties live together for financial reasons remains high, and the woman in particular remains at risk."

Ebert recommends exploring other options to avoid remaining in a relationship for financial reasons, such as speaking with banks, financial advisors and/or solicitors.

Tina said that while she's given up romance entirely to remain in her relationship for financial reasons, she isn't "unhappy".

"We've struck a good balance that works for us.  It's like living with a friend who doesn't expect too much," she said.

"I've just gone through menopause, so sex is something I don't miss.  But when I do, that's what vibrators are for, right?

"I have days when he frustrates me.  But I simply go for a walk or a weekend away by myself or with my friends."

Tina added that she's happy to live this way, and doesn't particularly want another relationship.

"I crave alone time and, thankfully, get it regularly.  I have a beautiful bunch of friends who understand my life with him — so no, romance is not on the cards in the future."

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Feature image: Getty.