'When I gave up my dream to be a mother, something amazing happened.'

In a world that often views ageing with trepidation, Faith Agugu is a rebel.

Born in Nigeria, where getting older is revered rather than feared, the psychotherapist was shocked to learn how Western Culture treats ageing.

Speaking on Mamamia's MID podcast with host Holly Wainwright, Faith explained that, growing up, she approached each new decade with curiosity and anticipation.

"I didn't think about ageing until probably in my late forties," she said.

"When I was 20, I remember really clearly thinking, 'Wow, I wonder what 30 would be.' And then when I was 30, I remember thinking 'I wonder what 40 would be.' For me, that was just always my curiosity."

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But Faith's excitement to grow old would soon be challenged after a hysterectomy pushed her into medically induced menopause.

The psychotherapist had been suffering from painful fibroids for years, but had delayed the surgery because she was hoping to have children one day.

Throughout her life, the idea of motherhood was always a given — something she says she took for granted.

"I never thought for a moment that it would not be open to me," she shared.

"I get to my late 30s, a relationship that I thought was going to become a marriage falls apart, and I'm suddenly in this panic, and then I have two or three relationships straight afterward. The men were not right, but I just wanted it to be right enough for me to get pregnant and have a family."

As her peers began having children and forming mothers' groups, Faith experienced a painful sense of isolation and exclusion.

"There was a real sense of being pushed out, and it was so painful," she recalled.

The turning point came at age 45. After convincing her then-partner to agree to have a child and begin IVF testing, Faith had a moment of clarity while standing on his balcony.

"I just remember it was like a lightbulb moment," she said.

"I just went, 'Faith, you're 45. When your child is 10, you're going to be 55; when your child is 20, you're going to be 65. Are you going to have the energy? What sort of quality of mother are you going to give the child? And what sort of quality of life are you're going to have?'

"It was just suddenly like, bang, and I just realised that no, the ship had sailed."

This realisation was, understandably, devastating for the then-45-year-old.

Listen to the full episode of MID below.

"It was so painful, even though it was a clear reality," Faith said.

"The ship had sailed, and I had to go through the process of accepting that, and that was really, really painful."

Through therapy, Faith processed her grief and eventually reached acceptance. This came with a new perspective on her life and its possibilities.

"I was like, 'Wow, my life is now mine.' My money is mine, I don't have to pay school fees or college fees, it's mine. What do I want to do?"

Soon, Faith noticed that the friends whose lives she had envied — those with children — began to express their own envy of her freedom and choices, and she realised there were both positives and challenges that came with both sides of the fence.

For those still struggling with the grief of childlessness, Faith says that time heals all wounds.

"Honour where you're at," she said, explaining it is important to experience all emotions — including painful ones like jealousy — without judgement.

"I'm really glad that I didn't have any kind of spiritual emotional bypassing, where I pretended I was okay before I was. It took time… I allowed myself to go there, allowed myself to own the pain, allowed myself to own the jealousy that I had," she said.

"Don't make yourself feel bad for all the feelings that you're having, and have a safe space to share [them]. It doesn't have to be a therapist, but just have a couple of good friends that you can share with and not feel judged. I think that's what's really important. Just give yourself time and just keep being kind to yourself through the process."

Feature Image: Instagram/@silversirens_redefiningageing.