Warning: This post mentions violence against women and might be triggering for some people.
The other day, I heard my kids fighting and distinctly heard my son say, “I can’t hit you because I can’t hit a girl!”
I snapped back and yelled, “Who told you that?”
“Everyone,” my son laughed. “Do you think I should hit girls?” the smart arse continued.
“No mate. I don’t want you to hit girls,” I responded.
But if you have a second to hear me out, you might find my response interesting. When I was young, “you can’t hit girls” was a very common sentence and a lot of boys took it very seriously. Too seriously in fact.
I watched so much violence between men; punching, fighting and using violent words. I even saw violence towards women - while a punch to the face was often avoided, or at least not spoken about, the violence prevailed.
In fact, I know many women who have had to flee from abusive relationships with men who claimed to “never hit her”.
Throwing her down the stairs, strangling her, pushing her and pulling her hair all seemed to be excused, as long as they could claim “I never hit her”.
Watch: Women and violence: The hidden numbers. Post continues after video.
The thing about violence is that it is all dangerous. In fact, someone who withholds a punch but opts for a choke or staircase push instead is more likely to kill their victim.
And don’t think for a second I’m saying let’s go back to it being okay to hit a woman - absolutely not. I’m saying let’s broaden the barriers. “Don’t hit girls,” could be “don’t hurt girls,” and maybe that could even evolve to “don’t hurt anyone”. Really it's the violence that needs to be addressed, and not the gender it’s pointed at.
