'My friend sent me footage of my teenage sons trying the latest viral trend. I'm terrified.'

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I got a text message from one of my mum-friends that made my blood run cold.

"Babe… I just found a video on my son's phone of your kids fighting. It's awful."

I instantly felt sick. I couldn't bring myself to watch it. My friend told me there were others in the room watching the footage, and she described the scene as "disturbing."

Then, a few weeks later, another friend found a different video on her son's phone: two of their friends staging a fight at the local park.

I watched that one. The sight of these young boys, thirteen-year-olds, grappling and throwing blows for a lens made my stomach flip.

Watch: How do we raise boys to become good men? Post continues below.

When people talk about being scared of parenting teenagers in the digital age, you think of nudes or predatory strangers. You don't necessarily think of your own children becoming amateur stuntmen in their own violent movies.

But filming "stage fighting" or "clout fighting" is the latest trend for teenagers, and it is a very real, very unsettling phenomenon.

What is clout fighting?

When smartphones first became ubiquitous, we saw a wave of "bystander" filming, where a real fight would break out, and everyone would record it. But the trend has evolved.

Students are no longer just passive observers; they are now "directors," choreographing fights to ensure they have enough "content" to fire up group chats or to splash across dedicated "Instagram fight accounts."

While the fight might feel fake or "just for fun" to the boys involved, the eSafety Commission warns that the digital footprint is permanent and potentially dangerous.

"Sharing these recordings can lead to more violence or retaliation and sometimes encourage ongoing fighting," the Commission warns.

"It can be humiliating and re-traumatising for those filmed and may have a long-term negative impact on their emotional and mental wellbeing."

There can also be legal ramifications. Sharing these videos can fall under the definition of cyberbullying if the material targets a person under 18, potentially leading to police intervention.

When I confronted my sons, telling them I was disappointed that they were engaging in violence and letting it be recorded, their defence was simple: they "didn't know" they were being filmed. I'm not sure if I believe them.

Why are they doing this?

It's easy to spiral into a dark place when you see your child on screen like that. You wonder: Have I done something wrong? Is my child destined for prison?

Parenting expert Gen Muir, who is also a mum of four boys, says these fears are natural, but we need to look at the historical and biological context.

"Boys fight because humans have always been entertained by fighting," Gen explained.

"Think about little boys who like to play war, we pay to watch boxing matches, fighting has been part of our world forever."

The difference now is the tool in their pocket.

"Of course, they're going to film each other because we put a smartphone and a camera in their hand. Boys would have filmed each other in the past; they just didn't have a phone in their hands."

The driver isn't necessarily a "sinister" streak. Often, it's about the currency of the digital age: Clout.

"Content is everything kids are interested in. The likes, the clicks, and the idea of maybe being a TikTok-er or an influencer," said Gen.

"They might film it because it gets circulated, and it gets them attention. But they might also film it because that's how they interpret their world."

How to handle the "clout fight" talk.

If you find a video or hear your child is involved in "clout fighting," Gen Muir suggests leading with curiosity rather than a sledgehammer.

"I would go to a place of compassion and empathy. Ask: Why would this feel interesting if I was a teenage boy? What's the driver?" Gen said.

For some kids, the driver is boredom; for others, it's a desperate need for social acceptance and impressing friends.

Here is Gen's guide to navigating the conversation without losing the connection:

1. Avoid the "nuclear" reaction.

"You go in with punishment, you take away their phone, you come in really hard and get freaked out, and they just go, 'Oh my God, you're a loser,'" Gen warned. They will disconnect from you and simply get better at hiding the behaviour.

2. Set your own family boundaries.

Every household is different. You need to decide what the "deal-breaker" is for you. "You might say: 'I get why you might have been tempted to film this, or why fighting might seem cool. And here is what works and doesn't work for me in our family,'" said Gen.

Is the rule about the fighting itself? Is the rule about filming or sharing the content? Is the rule about how we depict others online?

3. Rebuild trust with transparency.

"It's really about trust and connection and limiting that phone," Gen noted. This might mean saying, "From now on, I want to check your recordings once a week," or implementing stricter screen time limits until the trust is rebuilt."

Teenagers are wired to explore the "edges" of what is appropriate. It's their job to test the boundaries, and our job to stay calm while we pull them back.

"We want to remember: developing brains with lots of time on their hands are exploring what's appropriate because they can, and they're meant to," Gen said.

"Avoid punishing, but go in and say, 'I want to understand this better, and then I want to talk to you about what is safe and what is going to work in our family.'"

Gen Muir is a Grief Counsellor, Parent Educator and mum-of-four boys. You can find her at connectedparenting.com.au Facebook and Instagram .

The author of this article is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

Feature Image: Getty.