Just one more baby?

by JO ABI

I am CONSTANTLY asked if I’m going to have another baby and I am often asked the question whilst surrounded by my three children. How do they know I want another one, because I really really do. Is there a sign on my forehead?

I know it’s crazy. Four children these days is a lot. Four children is a pack. Four children mean we’ll need a bigger car, a bigger house and more money. But another baby is what I want. And I don’t know what to do.

I have two boys and a girl. I have my girl. Who am I to have another beautiful, healthy baby? There are couples who can’t have any. I have three nephews and a niece. I’m surrounded by children. I’ve given away my cot and my rocker. I’m done, aren’t I?

There’s this saying I love. It goes, “Bite off more than you can chew and then chew like crazy.” That’s how I’ve felt ever since I had my third baby. But I just love it. I love everything about being a mother. I never thought I would love it so much. I love watching them eat the dinner I have made, I love grocery shopping with them and having them help me choose food for the week, I love dressing them after their bath, chasing then around the house while they do their traditional nightly ‘nude run’ amidst lots of laughing and the occasional fall.

But to go back to baby-stage…

Baby-stage is fun but it’s all-consuming and I’m worried that when I have another baby my other children will feel neglected. But I did okay when I had my third. I involved them as much as I could and I always made time for hugs and conversation at the end of the day, no matter how tired I felt.

My boys became so comfortable with their baby sister that they dragged her to their room so she could watch them play video games. I had left her on her play mat and when I walked back in – coffee in hand – she was gone. I walked quickly to the boy’s room and found they had grabbed her little arms and dragged her the whole way. She hadn’t even cried and she was lying on their dirty floor, happily gurgling and dribbling away. I put her in the rocker and left her there. She was always happiest when she was with them.

When I spoke to my husband about the prospect of having another baby he said, “Whatever you decide, I’ll do.” How frustrating. Can’t he give me some sort of reaction? Can’t he at least help me make a list of pros and cons?

Do you know I even have a box of Clearblue in my bathroom draw? And that’s another thing. Will I even be able to get pregnant at this age? The sex, the weeing on a stick, the waiting and hoping. Do you remember the feeling of seeing that little plus sign? Pregnant! But I had trouble conceiving my second baby and I must have spent hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests until finally getting a positive one. I kept them at work, at home and in my handbag. Whenever I was shopping I’d pick up a pack just in case because when they came up negative I told myself it might be too early. After several negatives I’d usually accept the answer but all that heartache just made it even more wonderful when that little stick told me I had a baby on the way. And one word would always pop into my head when I saw that little plus sign – family.

I am thirty-six years of age and I desperately want another baby. Thank goodness I can easily monitor my ovulation as well, because I’m going to need all the help I can get. It took me one month to become pregnant with my first when I was twenty-seven, almost a year with my second (because I was trying to time the conception so I would end up with a girl then gave up and had another boy) and my third was a surprise. I was still breastfeeding my second baby boy when I fell pregnant with her.

I feel with four my family will be finished. But what if I have another baby and I still don’t feel like my family is complete. How many babies will it take? Hopefully just one more adorable little bundle. Just one more and then I swear, I’m done. I think.

(*data on file)

This post is sponsored by Clearblue. Comments on this post are just for this post. If you want to talk about the IDEA of sponsored posts or the choice of advertisers please click here. We will be reading all those comments too for feedback.

Once you decided that you wanted another child, how easy did you find it to fall pregnant again? What methods/tips did you use to help you conceive?