Farmer Lachie's 'ex-wife' tells Mamamia "off-camera Lachlan's a different person."

We were all captivated by last year’s brand-new reality TV concept Married at First Sight.

One of the contestants on that show is now appearing on Farmer Wants a Wife — and his “ex-wife” from Married at First Sight, Clare Tamas, told Mamamia that the four women competing for his love need to be cautious.

Lachlan McAleer, or Farmer Lachie as they’re calling him on FWAW, is one person in front of the cameras, but quite another once they’re switched off, she says.

McAleer said on the show’s premiere last night that the demise of his relationship with Tamas left him heartbroken, and that he’d been in love with her.

That’s news to Tamas. We asked her just what had happened between her and Farmer Lachie on Married at First Sight, and why she thinks he’s decided on another round of reality TV love.

She responded via email. Here’s what she said:

Were you surprised to hear that Lachlan said he’d been in love with you on MAFS?

Lachlan was in love with himself, his dog, and… himself. I don’t think Lachlan knows what love is to be honest, not everyone who wants love is capable of it. As he told me, different to what he told producers, he hadn’t had a relationship for over ten years.

Certainly after three months at the “where are they now” filming his words were that he saw and wanted a future with me, was grateful for the support I had given him since filming wrapped when he was busy on the farm (he worked seven days a week, 18 hour days) said I was his dream girl and he’d never had a connection like that, we’d build a house and start a family.

Of course you believe it. I stupidly did. The word “love” was never used but his actions spoke loud and clear when he just cut all contact with me. His filming commitments were over — apparently so were we.

It took me a long time to realize that when he said all the things he did at the “where are they now” filming that they were just words too.

That was pretty much the last time I saw him. I still have some personal possessions out at that farm somewhere — I stayed there most weekends and usually left stuff there. I didn’t expect things to just stop after that final filming.

Lachlan is a words man. He will say anything to a camera that will help evoke a certain audience response — i.e., sympathy, admiration, etc. A friend sent me the excerpt of what he said last night [on Farmer Wants a Wife] and all I can say is he was reading from a script.

You mentioned (in a NW magazine interview) that Lachlan had an on-camera persona and an off-camera one — what was the difference between the two? What kind of things were edited out of MAFS?

Lachlan is all words. There was never any action to back it up. Off camera he’s a different person.

He can be charming when he chooses, and once he’s caught his prey, well…

There was a lot of bad behaviour from Lachlan — he could get quite aggressive, defensive over the smallest things… I got thrown under the bus for my reaction to a man whose behavior was confusing and conflicting. On top of that he’d be warm and funny and say how amazing I was to the camera — so I was confused constantly by the hot and cold, on and off.

I’ve seen a glimpse of the Lachlan I know all too well in the FWAW preview. The producers of MAFS never showed this. Lachlan won’t hesitate to start an argument and twist facts… all you can do is learn not to bite and walk away.

But honestly? I was walking on eggshells and never knew when a landmine was going to go off. No wonder people thought I was unstable. I wasn’t, but it wasn’t a healthy, stable relationship at all.

What were your feelings towards Lachlan on MAFS initially, and how did they change?

This was my biggest life lesson:

1. To trust your instincts, and then to wait for the mask to fall before you fall for someone. Because I didn’t like him initially. Then I saw the charming side to him. I heard his speech — I believed he was that man. I had committed to an opportunity, a once-in-a-lifetime experience — you trust the experts — you want it to work.

It’s easy as women who love love and wear our hearts on our sleeves to give them away to “that charming guy.” We sweep things under the carpet because we want the fairytale. I was in a push-pull between who he showed himself to be when the camera was rolling and then not.

It’s the inconsistency in a relationship that destroys you. I felt very manipulated in MAFS by him and the producers. Things were shown out of sequence or footage from a future event paste into a different one or characters created by leaving either all the good or all the bad out of people, creating caricatures, essentially. No one can say they know Lachlan or I at all based on what you see on a manufactured TV show.

Did you want to continue your relationship after the show, or was it a mutual decision to end it?

I wasn’t given any opportunity either way. Was I invested and had I made time and effort? Absolutely. Was I sweeping a lot of red flags under the carpet? You bet. In hindsight? My family and friends who knew us together tell me I dodged a bullet. I’m so glad in hindsight I can say I agree. But it’s hard to see clearly at the time.

I did speak to a psychologist to help me work through the pieces of the puzzle and I can’t recommend one highly enough for every woman in a relationship that’s not feeling quite right, or even one that is. Lachlan and I had marriage counseling on the show but they never aired any of it.

Do you think Lachlan wants to be a celebrity and a media career more than he wants a wife?

Absolutely.

We ran a story the other day about Lachlan selling his Camden farm, which we thought was strange. The farmer who wants a wife doesn’t have a farm? Do you think he’s planning on ditching the farming life?

I always understood Lachlan to be in love with the farm and farming life. I know he never wants it to be sold completely as it’s been in his family for so long. Lachlan put the farm first always. He worked there every day during filming. People think he moved in with me full time but that was another manipulated illusion. He drove back and forth in between filming and when that six weeks wrapped he was working seven days a week. I was driving out there and happily so — I was trying to sustain this new relationship.

He misses a lot of events and stuff I’m sure he’d like to attend. I remember sitting on the lounge out at the farm dressed in formal wear, hair and make-up done, for two hours waiting as he had a farm emergency minutes before we were due to leave for his cousin’s wedding. There is always stuff like this. I used to affectionately call them “farmer dramas”.

He was always excited about my acting stuff and was keen to get involved and there is part of him that wants other things — media career etc.

Lachlan is an opportunist — there was no accident in the timing of the [farm] sale listing. He now has nationwide, even global, free advertising.

What advice would you give to the women who are competing for Lachlan’s affections on Farmer Wants a Wife?

As above [trust your] instinct and wait for his mask to fall. The real stuff happens off camera. If he’s not saying those nice things to you off camera then guard your heart. And once the cameras pack up, get ready for the real reality.

Do you think the producers of MAFS had earmarked Lachlan for Farmer Wants a Wife even before the show finished?

Absolutely. The theory is that Nine’s plan all along was to use him to promote FWAW after the show had been on the shelf for a few years.

I believe they recruited him for MAFS for this reason. You see, Lachlan applied for FWAW years ago. [He was rejected because] something about his property not being remote enough.

Do I think they scientifically matched us? No.

Did they do everything to make us believe and trust in the process? Yes. We filled out tests, questionnaires, interviews — I think that was smoke and mirrors in our case. The show featured the experts coming to our homes to meet us. But we had already been matched before that.

Tamas is currently happy and healthy and is seeing a new partner. She says she won’t be watching Farmer Wants a Wife.