"I was c*ckfished." The dating ploy I never knew existed, until it happened to me.

The author of this post is known to Mamamia and has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons. The image used is a stock image.

I’ve never been a fan of dick pics. They don’t really do anything for me. But of course, I, like many women, get sent plenty from men I’m dating and, occasionally, from men who I am not dating.

Because of my strong belief that “It’s not about the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean,” the only times I actually respond to dick pics are during phone sex because I’m not about killing the mood.

My responses are usually the classic “mmhhmm” or “oooooh” or my personal favourite, “thanks.”

The Mamamia Out Loud team talk about the ‘no fap’ movement (psst: that would be masturbation.) Post continues below.

The only time I’ve ever responded differently to a dick pic was around two years ago. I was dating a guy I met through a friend from university. And by dating I mean we hung out twice. So things were clearly getting pretty serious.

One night we were on the phone, talking about our previous relationships, and came to the conclusion that we both (unsurprisingly) wanted something quick, casual and fun. Me, being a big fan of a “root and boot,” got super excited and I quickly initiated phone sex.

Honestly… best phone sex of my life. He knew exactly what to say, when to say it and yes, quite a few photos were exchanged in the process. But nothing south of the border.

After we (he) was done, we decided that we were going to “hang out” at his place the next night.

The next evening came around and while I was getting ready to leave, I started to feel a bit nervous. So I thought I should try to get myself in the mood. For the first time ever, I requested dick pics.

But these ones were different to any other dick pic I have ever received. His was BIG and smooth and had the right amount of veiny-ness. He also had really good lighting going on – it was almost art-like. I didn’t want to masturbate to the photo, I wanted to hang it on my wall.

Anyway, I got myself excited and headed straight to his place.

We didn’t even bother with small talk. The sex was honestly a solid 7.5/10 but there was just one thing that weirded me out: HE HAD A DIFFERENT PENIS. And no, it wasn’t the lighting or the camera angle – he sent me a dick pic of a penis that was SO different to his in SO MANY ways. For one, his was a lot…smaller. And he had significantly more hair.

I’m not a big fan of confrontation but I couldn’t not say anything. So while we were lying in bed I casually asked, “So when did you get circumcised?”

There was silence.

After a few seconds he sat up, looked at me and said, “oh shit.”

I cracked up with laughter. I mean, I wasn’t going to run out on the guy for a fraudulent dick pic – but I couldn’t understand it either. Why the false advertising if you’re pretty certain you’re gonna get laid and have your lie uncovered?

He told me that he started to panic the night before when I began sending him photos, and it was the first thing he thought of doing. So long story short – I was c*ckfished.

And no, I never saw him again.