We need to stop romanticising the 'always late' friend.

I love my friends more than anything, but there is one thing we are abysmal at: being on time.

Plans will always involve several of us rocking up at least 10 minutes late. And look, I'm a reasonable gal, I get it. Sometimes you miss your train, can't find a park or simply lose track of time getting ready.

It really does happen to the best of us, myself included. (Note to the majority of my friends: don't come for me, you definitely fall into this category.)

But with silly season well and truly upon us, I have a bone to pick.

I need to talk about the friend who's "always late."

I'm not talking about the one who runs five to 10 minutes behind now and then. I'm talking about the consistent, frustrating 20 minutes plus. Every. Single. Time.

They're the people you know not to bother rocking up on time to meet, since they sure as hell won't be there.

Maybe this is bold to say, but being the chronically late friend isn't quirky and cute. It's disrespectful.

Watch: Woman waits for her chronically late friend. Post continues below.

It doesn't feel good. You're sitting at the bar by yourself, scrolling on your phone for 30 minutes, feeling awkward as you sip your drink and check the time again. By the time they finally breeze in, ready to chat, you're already mentally checked out and just want to go home.

It doesn't feel good to be the one dealing with the overbearing waiter, reminding you your table is only booked for a strict 90 minutes, plus you've already wasted 20 minutes waiting. You're spending your precious catch-up time managing the situation.

I know it's never intentional. They're not doing it to hurt you. But at a certain point, the intent doesn't matter.

And I need to preface this by saying, I'm not talking about people who genuinely struggle with time blindness due to things like ADHD. That's a real psychological barrier, and if you're dealing with it, you're likely putting in the effort and communicating with your friends.

Let me be clear here: I'm specifically talking about the friends who make absolutely no effort to be on time.

They're the person who has accepted being late is just "part of who they are." The one who continuously chooses to start getting ready late and leave their house late because they know you'll accept it.

This is where the issue lies: it's the fact they've given up trying not to be late that feels truly disrespectful.

Understanding your 'time personality'.

Interestingly, psychologists actually have names for why we all approach the clock differently. They call it our "time personality" and it captures our relationship to time.

You might be a "time optimist", believing you have more time than you actually do and frequently underestimating how long it takes to put on makeup or get across the city.

The "time bender" is driven by the adrenaline of cutting it close. For them, 10 minutes late basically counts as being on time.

Then there's the "time blind", which usually applies to people with executive function issues and ADHD. As psychotherapist Kirstin Anderson told Very Well Mind, these folks genuinely lose track of time.

"They might start a task and, by the time they check the clock, an entire hour has disappeared somehow," she said.

"It's not that these folks don't care about being late or making other people wait. Without external reminders or cues, it's easy for them to lose track of how long things take, which makes sticking to a schedule more challenging."

This psychological context is important because it shows lateness is complex. But here's the thing: it's up to us to learn our time personality and how to work with it.

It sucks being kept waiting at your dinner table. Image: Getty.

I recently saw a TikTok that completely shifted my perspective. It was quickly lost to the deep abyss of my For You Page, but the message stuck: being chronically late is a sign you don't respect your friend's time.

Making no effort to be on time sends out the message, "My time is more valuable than yours."

It sounds brutal, I know, but it's true. So many of us are only focused on ourselves.

Maybe we just know our friends love us and will always be there waiting, so we take advantage of that — often without even realising. But it feels like the value of a plan doesn't matter anymore.

With our friends so readily available at our fingertips, we seem to have slipped into a culture where we're self-centered to the point where we don't recognise the sheer disrespect of consistently keeping people waiting.

We don't value our friends' time as much as we should. And honestly, "I'm sorry" loses its meaning when you hear it every single time.

As we all try to navigate the endless party invitations and frantic catch-ups this silly season, let this message ruminate a little.

If you know your chronic lateness is hurting your friendships, do something about it. Try harder. Communicate better. Set an alarm 30 minutes earlier.

Stop keeping us waiting. Your friends deserve better than to have their time consistently wasted.

Sincerely,

Your friend who is this close to leaving the bar.

Feature image: Getty.