Hi,
I need help… immediately.
My work Christmas party, which is ‘cocktail’ themed, is on Friday night and I have nothing to wear.
I’ve found a dress online but I don’t know if it’s a bit much, and I don’t want to turn up and spend the whole night feeling uncomfortable. Similarly, I don’t want to dress ultra-conservatively and then feel like a dag the whole time.
So I’ve attached a picture of the dress.
Yes or no?
Thanks in advance!
Raquel
Well, Raquel. You've come to the right place for fashion advice.
When we were six we wore matching purple velvet tracksuits, with shoes that had four stripes on them, sending the message to the world: Yes, these are a cheap imitation of Adidas sneakers. No, mum couldn't afford the real thing.
The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss what you can wear to the office Christmas party. Listen here.
So if there’s one thing we know, it’s fashion.
And when it comes to this dress: GURL, NO. If you want to be taken seriously in the workplace, this is not the way to go about it. You think people can think you're smart AND have breasts? Capable AND have legs? Ambitious AND have a back?
These things are confusing, and we all know the only way to be taken seriously is to dress conservatively, professionally, and in a way that won’t distract anyone from what the men are saying.
Here are some options.
This black and white number is ideal for a work event, and will ensure all your colleagues forget you have a body.
The neckline is flattering on all body shapes, and if you want to cinch in your waist you can always use a piece of rope.
This maxi is best paired with a Balenciaga sandal.
The only downside of the sandal is that you'd want to beware the message your left big toe is sending, because the shoe is obviously very fitted and figure-hugging.
If you have a very curvaceous big left toe (which we have a feeling you... do) then of course that's not your fault. But it's also not Peter's fault for looking, if you know what we mean?
Another option is the Mirage Adult Lycra Protector Stinger Wetsuit with hood.
It covers all parts of the body except for the top of the foot, which can of course be remedied by pairing it with a high-heeled black ankle boot.
It's conservative without you looking like a prudish buzzkill. The Mirage Adult Lycra Protector Stinger Wetsuit with hood says, "I'm up for a good time... just not sexually," while also saying, "I’m ready for stinger season in Queensland, but not stinger season with your penis," which is all anyone can ask from sportswear.
But if black isn't your colour, then perhaps you could go for the classic snuggie in blue, perfect for a Summer night out.
There's ample arm room to store snacks in, or even a small child if that's where the night ends up. You really just never know. It can also double as a tea-towel in case anyone spills their drink, which would be a hazard for other guests.
You can pair it with a risque sandal, as to remind people that you do have skin, you just don't have to expose it all the time.
But we also know that it's Christmas, and you might want to add a little sparkle.
Don't stress - we've got you.
By not showing any shoulders, thighs, breasts or bottom, this Medieval Knight Costume ensures you won't attract any unwanted attention. Luckily, it even comes with matching shoes, so you don't need to worry about your feet being too exposed.
So there you have it Raquel - a few safe options!
Let us know how it goes xxxx
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