Christmas in July is one thing. Christmas in September is much worse.
Are you one of those people who plans ahead?
Do you like to secure your Christmas ornaments more than THREE MONTHS out from the actual day?
Are you worried that this year there will, somehow, be a desperate shortage of Christmasy-themed stuff to fill your house and want to ensure you get your treasures before people start trading tinsel for cigarettes?
Are you embarrassed to have last season’s red baubles?
No need to panic.
Because it is time. Christmas has come early.
Yep. Don’t let the fact that there’s still 102 DAYS TO GO BEFORE CHRISTMAS stop you, retailers. Don’t let fact get in the way of making a sale. Because TIME BE DARNED. We may have just ironically had Christmas in July, but NOW IT’S THE REAL SHIT so we better start getting ready NOW.
In SEPTEMBER.
My lunch break intrepid journalistic research today revealed that several shops are already sporting Christmas themed items, and not even left over ones from last year.
Like chocolate. CHOCOLATE? ARE YOU CRAZY? What maniac is stowing away chocolate THREE MONTHS out and expecting it to LAST UNTIL DECEMBER? I brought some back to the MM offices to photograph the evidence and I’ve had orgasms that have lasted longer.