Australian baseball player Chris Lane was brutally gunned down in a drive-by shooting by three teenagers in Oklahoma in 2013. Two of his killers have been given life sentences; this week, a third was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Chris was a young, promising athlete who’d simply gone out for a jog when the shocking event took place. Here, his sister Andrea explains the profound impact the shooting has had on her life – and that of her family – in the years since.
My life changed forever on August 16, 2013.
That day, my beautiful brother died.
Death is not the finale you believe it to be when you’re a kid. When you’re a child, death is always explained as something that happens to old people. When it’s an older adult, someone who has lived a fulfilling life, celebrated milestones, become wise with age and seen the world change over decades, death seems like the final step in a journey, one that gives them eternal peace.
But when my brother died, everything I had even been told about death was turned on its head.
My heart shattered. I felt more sadness in that moment than in my whole 29 years. When someone is ripped from you at a young age, without warning and in tragic circumstances, death is not so final. Death becomes something that lingers.
Like many 29 year olds, I didn’t consider myself a fully grown adult. Yes, I had a house and a baby and another on the way. I always felt part of a community. But I wasn’t an adult in that circle just yet. The ‘adults’ were around to guide me, give advice and be role models.
In the moment we were told Chris was gone, I was thrown into the unknown. I became a stranger in my community. The people around me didn’t know what to say or do.
Grieving has no bounds, no rules. It is surprising and gut wrenching, and can render you childlike in just minutes.