'I spoke about why I’ve chosen to stay single while raising my daughter. Then came the comments.'

Content warning: This article includes descriptions of sexual assault.

Hi, I'm Evie, I'm a solo mum and I don't date.

I haven't been on a date or — shock horror — been with a man since my daughter was born 15 years ago. I'm sure many of you will think I'm being extreme, pity me or suggest I go out and search for a fling. But I'm actually more than okay. In fact, I would argue that as a solo mum I'm in a far superior position than many partnered women.

I want to say from the outset that I fully support mums who are choosing to date again. And that I know some very awesome men are fabulous friends, partners, fathers, stepfathers, brothers, sons and uncles. If the men in your life aren't a risk to solo mums and their children, then this is not about them.

This is about the men who target solo mums to get to their children.

Watch: Brooke's day in the life as a single mum of five children. Post continues after video.

When I unexpectedly became a solo mum shortly after Em was born, the thought of being with another man was not even in my consciousness.

I was heartbroken, looking after a tiny baby all by myself and trying to figure out my new life with my daughter as a little family of two.

By the time I had moved on from her father, I had no need for anything a man could offer: I could mow the lawn, fix the car and change a f**king lightbulb.

Image: Supplied.

But the main reason I wasn't interested is that I was my daughter's only protector, and I was well aware of the severe risks to children of solo mums from the men who date us to get access to them.

I would educate and protect my daughter as much as I could from sexual assault and prepare her to dodge and manage the external harassment — the touching, lewd suggestions and intimidation from some me that so many young girls and women experience.

There was no way in hell I was going to invite those risks inside my home.

I had heard stories of abuse by male partners and stepfathers, and as I researched and spoke with friends who worked in police and trauma counselling, I became increasingly horrified.

To my horror, I found that abuse by stepfathers was not rare, and that many men actively seek out solo mums and develop relationships with them in order to gain access to their children, with "13 and 14 being the peak ages for victimisation".

Image: Supplied.

According to the 2018 ABS Recorded Crime Data, more than two-fifths of all sexual assaults recorded against children aged 0 — 14 (around 3100) were perpetrated by a family member. These assaults by family members were four times more likely to be against girls than boys — 107 sexual assaults per 100,000 girls compared with 28.3 sexual assaults per 100,000 boys.

It's an epidemic that has been destroying lives for hundreds of years.

The courage of Gisele Pelicot showed us what men will do when they think they won't get caught and is clear evidence of the danger that faces us every day. And for children the biggest risk is often in the very homes where they should be safe.

We just never know. And yes, it can be uncomfortable to be so wary, but I'll take that discomfort, and I'll take not having a partner until my daughter is 25 if it means she is protected.

Do I miss sex? Not really. Do I miss having to consult a man about decisions? LOL.

If I ever miss anything it's probably companionship now that my daughter is older and her focus on me is starting to diminish. But would I give up what I have? Nah.

I completely support other women who choose to date or get into new relationships. It's just that for me, I can go on my group trips and meet lots of awesome women and find companionship there. I'd rather be dancing on the beach and enjoying huge belly laughs with a group of women, to be honest.

When I shared my thoughts on Instagram, I was flooded with responses from other women doing the same.

One woman told me the heartbreaking story of ending up in a coercive control relationship after her husband died and how she now stays single to guard her peace — and that of her child.

"I'm very happily single and have no desire to change that at all. Thriving," she said.

Hundreds more said the same, proof that we can create our own happiness.

Again, I know this is not all men, but it is a lot of men.

I'm not taking the risk.

Evie Farrell runs fabulous, safe group trips for solo mums and kids. You can check them out here. You can follow her on Instagram @mumpacktravel.

Feature Image: Supplied.