'I blew up my 12-year marriage to pursue my own career. I have no regrets.'

It was 5.03pm on January 18, 2018, and I was done.

Done with the fighting, the compromising (mainly me), and the lack of resolution. My coaching business had been operating for a while, but it wasn’t yet in a place to produce a full-time income that I could use to support myself and three children on my own.

I packed my bag and left my marital home.

Like many other women who have faced this very situation, when I left my marriage I also left behind the financial stability it provided. Once I walked out the door and away from my husband, I was immediately cut off from the family income that I had helped him build for more than a decade. I was in a real fight-or-flight situation.

I have always been a strong woman, but I never felt weaker, or more helpless, that day I called time on my former family life. This is not what anyone dreams of when they get married and bring children into the world.

It was the hardest decision - but the best in hindsight. Blowing up a life you create with so much hope and expectation isn’t for everyone. The fact was that I had married the wrong person. One who didn’t support my personal drive to be a multi-million dollar entrepreneur, as well as a mother and a wife. 

Admitting that I made a mistake in marrying him was hard, leaving was even harder, but what came next was worth every sleepless night (and there were many).

I have always been ambitious.

I started my first business when I was 18, selling cosmetics, and I’ve since gone on to own and operate another five businesses.

Suddenly at 41, I was basically in survival mode. My career was at a crossroads. I was newly separated from my now ex-husband, and my coaching business would not pay the bills for me and my children aged 15, 11, and six.

I lay awake for days on end asking myself: “Should I hustle my butt off to bring in the business income I needed for us to survive, even though I was bone-tired from the relentless bombardment that comes from a marriage ending? Or should I close the doors, and try to find a job again, even though I hadn’t been an employee for more than a decade?”

In the end, it became a no-brainer that I should continue to grow my business, and this had to happen quickly. My marriage had already cost me so much personally, and I didn’t want it to claim my vision and hopes for the future as well. It took 18 months, and many dark nights of the soul, but I grew my coaching business because I had no choice, and it would be my lifeline.

Success is the best redemption.

I remember when I was creating my first online program for my coaching business The Workshop Whisperer. I had no idea if anyone was going to buy it, and no idea what the program was even going to look like in the end, but I just listened to my inner guidance that was saying “just get it done, they will come”.

I am proud of what I have built – a multi-million dollar business coaching specific to the auto repair industry, a male-dominated sector no less. Combined with my most recent venture, Brave Media Network, I also work with seven and eight-figure female entrepreneurs to find more harmony in their lives. Now what I earn provides for my new husband and I, my three children, and three stepchildren, and we also employ 12 other families.

Be yourself at all costs.

In a society that still strongly favours the patriarchy, strong women are singled out and put in the spotlight for all manner of things a man would never be singled out for, simply because they are brave enough to show how strong they actually are. The patriarchy runs the world still – and many family dynamics in Australia reflect that. Women are the primary carers, and men, no matter how many kids comes along, are freer to realise their ambitions without a career pit stop.

Changing who we are to suit the surrounding people on any occasion is a recipe for ensuring we never live up to our own potential.

If someone feels uncomfortable in the presence of a strong woman, or even man for that matter, they are often just projecting back to themselves things they see they don’t possess themselves. When I sense this is occurring, I check in with myself to assess if this is something I have created, or if perhaps it’s a self-worth issue for the other person.

My takeaway? Blowing up a life that doesn’t reflect your potential is actually a very good thing.

Rachael Evans is a world-leading visionary business disruptor, speaker, author, and coach, dedicated to helping women step into their bravery and reclaim their feminine power. Specializing in the auto repair industry, Rachael transformed a struggling auto repair shop from 'rags to riches' which led to launching her multi-million-dollar company teaching others to do the same. She is now a champion for female business owners, entrepreneurs, and CEOs looking to find harmony within their greatest roles as mothers, partners, and professionals while continuing to thrive through their successes.

You can follow Rachael Evans through her LinkedIn, Instagram, and her website.

Feature Image: Instagram @therealrachaelevans.

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