We want them to be safe. But are we robbing our kids of adventure?

Letting your child take risks may be the best thing you ever do for them.

Most parents want the same things for their children. To be happy. To be safe. To have opportunities in life. To be loved. But sometimes I lie awake worried my children have missed out on something equally important — adventure.

This week in Britain a parliamentary group found children should be participating in more risky play. It found children’s lives — especially at school — were being engulfed by work instead of what is actually more beneficial to their development — good old fashioned, rough-and-tumble play. It recommended that children have more opportunities to play near cliffs and water.

In our hearts, we know this is true. Children’s play these days — especially in urban areas — is safe and boring. Most playgrounds are designed with a view to minimising legal liability; the result being children are prevented from doing anything challenging at all.

The British report said: “Risky play involving perhaps rough and tumble, height, speed, playing near potentially dangerous elements such as water, cliffs and exploring alone with the possibility of getting lost gives children a feeling of thrill and excitement.

“Learning when feelings of fear indicates that behaviour is unsafe and learning to balance feelings of fear and excitement are the foundation of healthy self-esteem, self-reliance and resilience in the face of life’s stressors.”

As a parent I have not been totally restrictive with my kids. I probably let my children take more risks than most. But I am still a modern parent and modern parents are risk averse.

That’s understandable. Of course we want to minimise our children’s exposure to danger. But it may be we need to discover that risk is not necessarily the same as danger.

Maybe we also need to realise there are greater risks than allowing our children freedom. Child anxiety and depression rates are soaring. Some children make it to young adulthood without really knowing the basics of self-sufficiency. And research tells us time and time again that to develop proper resilience, health and wellbeing children need heaps of independent play. I’m not suggesting you take your kids down to the national park tomorrow and drop them off with a sandwich and a compass — although most kids would probably love it. But I am saying we need to let kids out of our houses and out of our sight.

Some years ago a new neighbour moved a few doors down and the first thing we knew was when we saw him hanging from a tree outside our house. Our new young neighbour James was younger than my oldest girl and already cultivating risk. He roamed down to the park at the end of the street without apparent injury and soon we realised we needed to follow the lead of his loving parents who utterly believed James was capable of returning unscathed. He taught my children to climb the biggest tree at another local park and to climb the toilet block. He taught them about big sticks and how to fight with them and how to make your own bow and arrow. God knows what else they got up to.

Yes there were some scrapes, but mostly our children, under the guidance of James, returned in one piece.

I don’t want to be one of those people who yearns for the good old days. Surely our children are enjoying their own good days. There are certainly plenty of amusements and distractions for them. X Boxes, Playstations, iPhones and iPads. Did I mention Minecraft? But what I fear my children have missed is the joy that comes from adventuring on your own, whether you are rambling around the bush, picking through creeks or just biking for hours around the neighbourhood playing knock and run.

Yes there are more and more opportunities for learning. Tennis, swimming, drama, singing and soccer. But what I want most is for my kids to learn to trust themselves. I want them to learn the fear and thrill of stepping a little close to the edge and knowing exactly when to step back.

And then to return to their loving parents flushed and thrilled at their own daring and abilities and proud of who they are.

How do you feel about letting your kids taking risks in play?